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Mar. 21st, 2019


Belief In Aliens A New Religion?

I will be updating Spiral's end next week. This post will be added there as well.

The article below is a review of a book called 'American Cosmic' and it follows the stories of several anonymous 'high-up' corporate leaders and scientists who secretly believe that aliens who pilot UFOs are real and may even be here actively.


The idea it could be a new religion stems from the alien encounters themselves, which resemble "holy" encounters with divine beings during biblical times and for many religions still followed today, and even more that are long gone.

The book becomes a little of an adventure story as the author meets various high up people who take this controversial stance... at least in private.

I admit I'm curious as to what the author found...

Nov. 26th, 2018


Sharn's Spirit Visits At Thanksgiving

While Cat was at a car appointment, I was laying down listening to a podcast on low, being lazy and cuddling with our male cat, Mez. Tess was upstairs, dead asleep, due to her overnight shifts at work. So the house was quiet except for my program.

I was surprised to hear Cat suddenly in the kitchen/keeping area next to my bedroom say, "Hey Cleo!" to another cat. For one, I didn't hear Cat come home, and for another, the voice sounded more like Cat's mother, Sharn. Mez sat up abruptly at hearing the voice, then meowed, then jumped down off the bed to be let out. I followed, saying, "You wanna see Cat?" I thought it was weird he was so excited. He greets us at the door sometimes, but calmly and silently, a happy tail with a leg brush and back to his kitty business. I went out the door to say hi to Cat and tell her she sounded eerily like her mother just now.

But when I stepped out into the area in question, Cat wasn't there. Cleo was sitting in a box by the keeping area hearth, looking contented. Meanwhile, Fiona, another of the kitty siblings, came rushing down the stairs and looking around like she heard the voice, too.

What the HELL was going ON?

I checked for Cat's car. It wasn't around so neither was she. I knocked on Tess's door, she sleepily answered. I asked if she had been downstairs--? It was obviously a no, but she said it anyway. I apologized for bothering her and continued to check the house. Mez, in the meantime, had been meowing and running from place to place in the house, obviously actively looking for someone specific. I walked back downstairs, puzzled, thinking about how much the voice sounded like Sharn. Maybe it was her... coming by for a holiday visit?

My podcast featured a man's voice in a monologue, and my ipod was on my left side. The voice, by contrast came from my bedroom door on my right side and was clearly a woman-- in fact, a specific woman. Mez's behavior was also notable, as he was Sharn's cat (or, rather, Sharn was his human.) His wonder and happiness at hearing THAT voice, and then subsequent confusion were clear as I watched him run around the house, searching for Sharn! It was ultimately Mez's behavior that convinced me I definitely wasn't either dreaming or confused.

I felt a sense of presence when I first walked out of the room into the rest of the house, but it soon faded, and I felt alone again, except for the cats. The voice had been so LOUD and OBVIOUS that it was really rather crazy to me-- as was the fact I only heard a quick sentence and nothing more. I had to tell Cat about it when she got home, and Tess about it when she got up. It was a very strange experience, and it made me cry with the significance of it. I have mixed feelings about Sharn's death. I miss her, of course, and feel bad she missed out seeing this new home. On the other hand, she was suffering there at the end, and Cat needed to be able to finish growing up and living her own life. I still feel a little guilty for the relief I felt when she passed. I was glad to move on.

However, even so, I didn't find the experience scary at all, since it was clearly Sharn and she's hardly frightening. If it was indeed her and not, say, a time-slip of Cat coming home (which wouldn't provoke the same kind of behavior out of Mez-- we TESTED that theory to see for sure!) then apparently she just came briefly to look around. I've heard it is not uncommon for the recently dead to visit briefly from time to time, apparently looking up their loved ones. If so, I hope she liked what she saw!

Finally, we had our Thanksgiving meal. Cat was in charge this year and she doesn't really cook that much, but it was one of the best meals I've ever had! Perfect turkey, perfect stuffing made from scratch, and a wonderful homemade cranberry sauce sweetened with honey! I made green beans with bacon and onions as my contribution, and that worked great as well. I was flaring last week, as I recovered from that infection, so I never got around to getting stuff to make a dessert, but it wasn't missed, since the regular food was so good everyone had thirds!

Cat confessed to me that she was having one of the best weeks she's had since her mother died, and going back before that a while as well. She gifted herself a great car, made a great meal like her mother used to, and maybe even had her mom's spirit stop by to see how she was doing, and that made her feel really good. She reported feeling her mother's presence for a couple of days around Thanksgiving, so for her, it was profoundly reassuring.

Oct. 11th, 2018


A Blue-White Flash & Guts

This happened officially around 1 in the morning technically on the 8th-- but to me, the night belongs to the day before, so we're calling it the night of Sunday the 7th. Also, I finally thought to take pics 3 days later that I am sharing below.

I've reported on some odd snapping or thwacking sounds and oddly moving shadows in our new home. It quieted down a lot after our last smudging and all went silent and calm for weeks.

The weirdness came back on Sunday night.

I was up a little late, just finishing watching a show before going to bed. All the lights were off in the house, but for very dim night lights trained along floors to avoid tripping, and so I was able to see something remarkable that I otherwise would have missed.

Behind me, in the back of the house, something flashed a bluish-white light at a very odd angle and limited to showing up through only one window. At first, I thought, "lightning?"-- but I didn't see a flash in the big bay window I sit in. Nor did any light come through the kitchen windows, which I can see in my peripheral vision. The light flash came through the back door behind me. It resembled a photographic flash, actually, so my second guess was that it was someone with a camera out back.

Well, I looked and no one was out there. Tess and Oliver were dead asleep in her room. No sign of neighbors outside either.

More than that though, I realized the ANGLE of the light required the light source to be up in the air about 10 feet! I figured this out by the light reflection upon my entertainment cabinet and the floor. It was very obviously from a light thru that back door window and it shown clearly.

See, that window has a decal on it that only allows clear light from 2 clear area cut out of the decal, and some filtered light through the decals themselves. They're the window clings I put up to grant a little more privacy and a bit more "Victorian" flavor compared to the totally open windows on the doors that are there.

Here you see the window in question. I clearly saw the blue-white light as brighter in the same shape as this window, decal included. In fact, the top of the decal wasn't showing! Which meant that the light was high enough to be partially cut off by the deep overhang of the porch! This gave me a way to estimate exactly how high the light would have to be and how far away, given that the light was limited to coming in a specific window. The angles of a Victorian house present a unique opportunity for this kind of thing, I'm finding. Which is how I know it had to have been 9 to 12 feet up. Too tall to be a person with a camera and flash, but not too high, as the eaves would have blocked more light still, or prevented it from coming in that specific and deeply placed window entirely. As I worked out how it had to have happened, angle-wise, I grew more concerned. It was not lining up for a more prosaic explanation-- which I am only too happy to find, by the way!

I am not on the ball, so though I worked all this out the next day-- it was 3 days later before I went to the yard to take pics because-- HELLO? For once I have a physical thing to take a photo of!  A few days earlier when I traced the path back from the door, I nearly stepped on a little surprise right below where that flash would have come from:


I should have put my shoe in there for size reference. I'm so unfocused these days! But they are the size of the digestive tract of a rabbit or cat, I'd estimate. What struck me as weird, was how the guts were so CLEAN. No blood, hair, skin, or bones attached. They were totally fresh, looking even better than what you see here, photographed 3 mornings later. Nothing wants to eat them, not even flies, except for yellow jackets. I mean, I considered that maybe they'd been dropped from above by a bird of prey... but wouldn't they look... MESSIER!?  Also, I looked around the area for more of the carcass, and could find nothing at all-- no bones or anything. Large owls might perch on those fir trees and drop things, but just the guts? HUH?!?

Here I put a used paint can right next to the guts on the ground (I wasn't about to touch them!) to show relationship between their placement and the back door to the house. Not far away at all! The door with the window is the one the light came through, and you can see in the reflections that a dense stand of Douglas firs grows beyond this open area.

So... I don't get it. I just don't get it. I mean, I can't say for sure that the blue-white flash was a something popping into our reality, only to drop guts from... a surgically mutilated cat or rabbit maybe? (There is an area of Washington State that is getting a rash of surgically mutilated cats right now.) I can't explain the light, but previous experience with blue-white light tends to be related to aliens. The oddly clean guts being in the same location is a disturbing coincidence. It happened in a flash of maybe 2 seconds. And I got up and looked around.

But that wasn't the end of the weirdness. The snapping sounds came back, within about 10 seconds of the flash. I was up and looking around, and that sound came back-- the source seemingly up the stairs near the laundry room-- which is where I almost always hear it if I am downstairs. And-- I saw a couple of odd shadows.

And I felt watched and nervous! There was sudden presence in our home, and everyone was deeply asleep except for me. Which I really fucking HATE.

But I have a back-up plan!

I called my abductee friend in Texas, Valerie. I texted her first and luckily she was up. I was actually on the phone with her when a small shadow, moving almost like a thick liquid, sort of poured down in front of me. The light was dim-- so was it a "floater" in my eye? I moved my eyes around, and it kept to its trajectory of falling to the floor. It rounded into a sphere the size of a baseball at about my face-level and fell to the floor in slow motion. I exclaimed about it to Valerie, who was on the phone with me, and she said she heard a very weird sound, like a high-pitched whimper or something, just as the shadow was crossing at my face level to the floor (and by my phone.) I heard nothing on my end, so that was another weird little thing. This shadow thing passed obviously in front of my face by only a foot or so. It was close!

I talked to Val for a half hour or so, and the feeling of presence diminished and the sounds and shadows went away. Faery or dimensional intrusion? I don't know. But I mark it here. I actually forgot about it after the next day (which is when I looked around and figured angles and saw the guts) and Val's email reminded me days later and I went outside to look around and take these pics. The guts are a little less "pretty"-- but still in remarkable shape considering.

THIS is the kind of strange, peripheral event that happens in fits and spurts to abductees on a semi-regular basis! I don't know what triggers these flaps to start and stop, but they happen, and lots of things that make no sense and can't really be proven or figured out occur all around the other phenomena. This is one example of what I mean. I've forgotten tons of details on these types of events from my past, but I am making a concerted effort to report faithfully every single strange thing. My time is limited, as is my energy, these days, so I nearly missed going outside to look around at where that light source would have to have been.

Plus, when shit happens, there is often a very powerful reluctance to report it! I actually stopped writing entirely for almost 2 weeks after it happened. I'm pretty much forcing myself to do this now. ANY evidence left (even questionable guts dumped from above in my yard!) seems to evoke a strong need for secrecy, so I apologize for my delay in reporting. I'm a rebel, but "good little abductee" me still has some pull on my psyche, apparently!

As always, anyone who has noticed something similar in their own experiences is strongly encouraged to share in the comments section!

Sep. 10th, 2018


Odd Shadows & Snapping Sounds

Months ago I declared that, in time, Heron House would be "haunted." Not by ghosts so much as dimensional things that slip into a reality that will be more flexible around where I live due to my semi-regular visits from aliens. Their technology seems to create side-effects that produce poltergeist-like phenomena.

Maybe it's all started sooner than expected?

I'm not sure, but in the last week or so, I've begun to notice small, cat-sized, shadowy shapes moving around sometimes in the house. I attribute it to my close-up eyesight getting worse (requiring stronger reading glasses) and my brain just interpreting what it can't "get" as somehow cats, because most weird things that move around me in my life ARE cats slinking in and out of sight.

Last night, I was alone in the house with just the cats, as Cat was off to a gaming party and I was just too exhausted to join her. I kept swearing I saw some shadowy amorphous shapes around 3 feet long by a foot wide just going around corners or what have you. A couple of times, I looked straight on at something see-through that obviously moved as I watched. Was it floaters in my eyes? Was it the glasses I wore causing reflections? (I still get startled by that effect sometimes.) Couldn't tell for sure, so I shrugged it off.

Then, last night, something odd happened that went beyond those shadows.

I kept hearing a strange, snapping type of noise-- like the sound of a breaker switch being thrown. That loud "THWACK" kind of sound that could be a small bundle of metal rods being struck against maybe plastic. "SMACK!" I heard it several times and looked over and tilted my head. I figured "cats" because that's what weird sounds are almost 100% of the time, let alone in a household with 4 of them!

But then I saw all 4 cats were with me in the room, waiting semi-patiently to be fed. Hmmmm! As I realized this, the snapping noises continued. Quite bizarre.

I was doing laundry. Was it something in the dryer smacking around? The sounds were clearly coming from the top of the stairs to the rec room, right by the laundry room. I got up to investigate. The sounds stopped as soon as I moved a few feet towards the source of sound. That alone made me wonder more. Still, I went and checked and couldn't figure it out, and while I was looking, no more snaps.

So I checked the dryer, got my clothes out, folded them and put them away in silence, then turned off the breaker to the dryer. (We're extra cautious with it due to some issues we had checked by an electrician.) I sat down and went back to watching a show.

The snaps started up again. This time I sat and listened and moved my head around from my chair. Definitely upstairs. I got up again, and managed to get about 10 feet before they stopped that time. I was able to discern that the sounds were popping up from different locations upstairs in the rec room. How can such an obvious, very specific sound MOVE from one area to another like that? Then it stopped after I had taken a few steps.

NOW I was suspicious!

All told, the snapping noises went off 5 times at least during the evening-- and stopped once I got up to investigate, but would continue for up to 10 minutes non-stop if I remained in my chair. It seemed clear the noises were intelligently responding to my movement towards them.

Cat came home from her game and things went quiet, and I didn't even mention it. I rather prefer to have people independently notice what I do, so I know it's not just me.

I didn't have to wait long. I got 2 witnesses the very next day!

This evening, Cat and Tess and I were all hanging out in the rec room in the gaming area having ourselves a Roomie Meet. We went over several issues, and I got a chance to explain my worries about Tess avoiding confrontation and making situations worse. We were just finishing up when...

Cat suddenly interrupted me, saying, "What was that thing by the wood stove?" We asked her what she meant.

She kept staring and said, "I thought it was a cat at first, but it was a shadow. There was obvious movement. It crawled down off the small wood pile to the floor. I was looking right at it."

We all tried to make the shadow she saw, but the angle of light was wrong for it. And the cats were all accounted for.

That's when I made a confession. I had been seeing weird, cat-sized shadows for a few days at least and was wondering if it was my eyes or something. Just as I said this, some loud SNAP, SMACK, THWACK noises started going off downstairs in the keeping area (which is where I was last night when I heard the noises in the rec room!)

"Oh," I said, "and last night I started hearing these snapping sounds-- only then I heard them up here."

We all looked at each other. Then we got up to go find the sounds. They stopped after we went a few feet. We looked, found nothing, and returned to our seats. And I told them about the sounds I'd been hearing.

AND they started up a second time! This time we all three got up and started checking more thoroughly. The laundry room was silent, the sounds were coming from the kitchen or keeping area next to it FOR SURE. Then Cat said she saw another shadow on the gas fireplace in the keeping room. It was just before sunset, so there was daylight around. It wasn't a dark, scary thing going on. We heard a couple more sounds as we entered the area-- it sounded like it was from the corner tower room. AND it was coming from different areas of it, just as the night before but upstairs. An odd sound that moved around?


Cat checked the electric tea kettle, which makes a "snick" sound when the auto heater goes off. It was off. We checked the fireplace and nothing was amiss there. We quickly ran out of "rational explanations."

There were no more snapping noises after that. But now everyone was alerted that there was something odd going on. I looked at my roomies and said, "I told you this is a thing for me. I just wasn't expecting it so soon! It took a  year and half for anything to get freaky at the Ghost Lake house, aside from my bed vibrating and thumping."

Here we go again--?

May. 7th, 2018


Moved Again! Looks Like, But Is NOT, A Haunted House

Just an update for my paranormal blog!

Wanted readers to know its been very quiet for the most part, and I've been super busy due to helping out during a friend's mother's illness and death. Then we had to scramble to find another house. Which is now being moved into and made cozy (this is a large house and will take awhile to settle into.)

Here are some pics: Heron Hold, as we're calling it, is a newer take on the Victorian stye, built a little over 20 years ago. But--! It LOOKS like the quintessential haunted house, doesn't it?

I got to meet the previous owners who had it built, and they're really sweet and have had zero issues. I can confirm there is nothing at all paranormal about this place.


I've moved over and over again throughout my life-- over 30 times for certain. I've moved 3 times in the last 4 years. However--!  What seems to happen is that I move to a place, and, over time, as I get visited by some Other intelligence, rips in space/time, or at least weakenings in our reality, occur, and then where I live starts to get fae or poltergeist activity. It seems to take at least 3 years. One place I lived for several years in Tigard, Oregon, had 2 permanent "portals" where odd things, including spirits of the dead, could and would 'pop' through.

Here's the thing. I'm hoping to never move again. I plan to be here for at least another 25 years. I'm in my dream house with my best friend. We're like sisters and we get along very well. This will be my life's project on some level, improving and maintaining a beautiful home on several acres of land.

Though things are not as active for me after my 30's, I still get visits and therefore the potential for dimensional rifts remains possible. To begin with, I want it stated clearly that I moved to a nice "clear" home with great vibes, very calm, and ZERO SPIRIT OR FAE ACTIVITY (I use "fae" in the old way, as elementals or non-human spirits that cause poltergeistic activity.) This is a great home and everything here is even better than most homes, because the people who were in it before us were awesome, HAPPY people who loved one another and built this house as a lifelong dream, etc. (They only left because they're elderly and want to be with family elsewhere.)

My prediction: It may take 4 or 5 years, but I bet this place becomes haunted or effected, simply because I'm living in it! I could be wrong, but I think starting with a very blank, if positive, slate is a great test for my hypothesis!

So there is my official statement. I live in a home that looks like it could be creepy, but it is not at all weird spiritually or magickally.

Once we're settled in here, my time opens up and I'll be resuming my memoirs of past paranormal experiences. My apologies for things being so crazy in the last 3 years. It appears chaos will soon be a thing of my past. We're settling in and creating a cozy nest and I'm very happy and life is really good right now and looks to be so for at least a while.

See everyone soon!

Mar. 30th, 2018


LOUD Intruder This Morning


I awoke with a start. It was just after 5am (I checked my clock) and it sounded like Cat was going into the garage from the daylight basement downstairs and allowing the weighted door to slam shut! I was annoyed. She's usually more careful not to wake me when she's up early (as she is often up by 4:30am and I sleep in 'til 8am) so I was a little worried.

Oddly, I was also thinking about aliens suddenly, even though I had woken from a very prosaic dream. I was just suddenly thinking about past contact with aliens, not connecting anything going on with them at all, even remotely. But... it was odd given what happened next.

I heard the rooster start freaking out. Because we live in the 'burbs, the rooster is taken into the garage every evening and then allowed out into the yard and coop during the day. He will often crow at 5am anyway, but having Cat go into the garage and turn on the light makes him crow a little more often, because-- people up! Day starting! More light and activity! Good morning!

But this was different. Her rooster was crowing non-stop in a frantic way that was unlike him. Roosters know their "tribe"-- a good rooster doesn't make too much of a fuss when the humans and animals familiar to him are around. But when strange people or pets or bigger animals come around, they crow louder and many times in succession.

So-- the rooster was acting like Cat was a stranger. That was weird. But as the downstairs door to the garage slammed shut again, I sat up. The rooster was completely losing his shit! Not even like a "Stranger Danger" call-- more like he was scared out of his tiny avian mind!

There was stomping I could hear going on and off, like you could hear it on the linoleum but not the carpeted areas so much. I was thinking that Cat was angry. There was a tone to the sounds. I started wondering if I should check things out. Maybe something went wrong when she started work from home or something? The rooster quieted a little.

More stomping in the downstairs laundry area and then the door opened and BLAM!-- slammed shut again! This was so stark that all 3 times that door slammed shut, it pretty much shook the house!

Cue the freaking out rooster-- like whoever it was who had just been stomping around downstairs had once more entered the basement.

But then, it all went quiet. The rooster stopped crowing completely for almost 20 minutes.

I felt bad for Cat, who I assumed was in the garage? I got out of bed. I was going to have to talk to her about not making that kind of noise so early. She's been so stressed out, I'd have to be direct, but kind, about it. But I needed my freaking sleep! Like-- BADLY.

I didn't hear her come back in or come up the stairs, but I didn't think much of it, only that I felt pretty banged up and in pain myself. The noise and fuss and angry tone of the careless noise-making disturbed me too much to go back to sleep. I was up for the day.

A half hour later, Cat sleepily came into my den room. Her mouth guard was still in, and her little nightcap was on. She had JUST awakened and came to check on me because I was up so early. She was blinking sleepily.

Now I was confused.

I asked her if she was okay--? Why was she stomping around downstairs earlier?

Now Cat was confused. She had not yet been downstairs...!

We looked at each other and then hurried downstairs. All the doors were locked from the inside. Nothing was missing. The rooster crowed again at the activity, and he actually sounded a little hoarse! (Which takes a lot for a rooster...)

Of course, I started thinking about it. The person ended up in the garage, but then-- never came out of it. There is no door except the big garage door that opens for cars to leave the garage by in this house. The person making all the noise just... vanished?

Which is not that weird in my experience. "Visitors" will do that!

Cat really is more considerate than that, normally, and it obviously wasn't her. I realized that, in addition, whoever it was sounded like a large man wearing boots or something. Cat wears those soft-soled shoes with the individual toes. You can't STOMP in those! Let alone in her 5-toed slippers she wears around the house! It could not have been her. It doesn't appear to be a normal human intruder, so I tend to conclude it was one of the Others.

I am a little surprised at the apparently DELIBERATE noise making, though! It is as if they were trying to wake me up. But why? My cat was snuggled next to me and I had been dreaming, so I don't think I was returned from an abduction. It seems like it was a visit to check things out? I can only speculate, but could they see that a bunch of stuff is missing from being packed? Do they know I'll be moving again? Why should they care? They can follow me anywhere... although I'll be close to several navy bases and ports and research facilities...! But I don't recall telling anyone that or having discussions or anything about such topics. I honestly have had nothing unusual going on since that little stint that occurred when I first left my marital home and came to the Ghost Lake house and recalled talking to some young blond guy.

Regardless-- it appears I was prematurely awakened by something not normal, and the last few years, these things tend to happen to me in the spring season. I guess I need to step up my game...

I wish I knew what the hell was going on. Why does it start? Why does it end? What triggers the little "flaps"? Will this be a one-off oddity, or the beginning of another period of anomalous activity?

Just in time, too. Right as I'm about to move!

Mar. 28th, 2018


The Making of A Ghost, Part 2 [Updated]

I wrote yesterday about how a new ghost in our time might come about from a local news story here in the Emerald City region. Then-- I heard another that had local ties to Portland (Rose City) and a near-by town in Washington as well.

That story here:


When I first posted this, I made some assumptions that I wasn't sure about. I was right about most of them. It was a lesbian white couple who adopted 5 black kids and 1 asian boy. No biological kids, however. Turned out that not only did they NOT brake, but they parked the car and then SPED towards the edge and off! Very obviously purposeful.

Long story short-- it appears that they pulled a Thelma & Louise with their adopted kids in the car.

UPDATED ARTICLE HERE also discussing racist bias towards white mothers and against non-white children:

Here we have anguish, shame, and revenge pulled on the kids who they realized "told tales" out of their home school! The kids are innocent, abused and neglected, and then-- murdered.

Multiple ghosts likely? I think so.

It seems like families dying together in such fraught circumstances often produce ghosts. Again, that lonely mile marker by Mendicino, California may be the site of some strange things in the future.

Mar. 21st, 2018


The Making of A Ghost, Part 1

Recently, I heard about a news story that, as soon as I heard it, I thought, "Well, there's a ghost right there!"

Here's that story: www.kiro7.com/news/local/spanaway-man-shot-killed-by-pierce-county-deputy/717641946

Now, just picture it... A man, confused and having a mental breakdown, almost certainly on drugs, runs around threatening people with a knife, and, when the cops are called, actually tries to crawl into the back of the cruiser! He's desperate, scared, angry, and not well connected to reality. Then-- he's shot! The soul, propelled from such a body in such a state, may have difficulty comprehending the death process. Such a soul may well avoid or even flee a tunnel of light opening up, or light beings or dead relatives coming for him.

And another ghost is made.

I'll remember this address--> 252nd Street East in Spanaway's Elk Plain

It would not surprise me if, every once in a while, people started getting odd experiences of a man being seen in their car, maybe even waving a knife, who appears out of no where and then disappears just as fast. It will sound so... "teen scary story" that few will take the accounts seriously, not remembering the short local blip on the news that would bring clarity to the reports.

In such ways are ghosts created. They are not all old revolutionary or civil war soldiers, not all wearing long dresses or handlebar mustaches. They are around us every day being made out of terrible, violent, tragic stories like this.

Feb. 6th, 2018


The Odd Chimed Tune That Alerted Me

I had a strange thing happen at about 10 minutes to midnight last night...

I was nearly asleep, having rolled over after petting my cat. She was still purring and I could hear her quite clearly. I was blissfully drifting off when...

I distinctly heard my wind chimes outside my window. Not like normal, mixed up pretty cacophony sounds one would expect-- but rather very distinct notes, played one at a time only, in a very distinctive tune! There were several measures, composing a full tune, that even ended distinctly, followed by silence.

I literally came completely awake, rolled over, and sat up after hearing that refrain!

THEN I noticed both my body and my bed were shaking-- not yet violently-- but it was increasing. I did my "earthquake test" and reached up to touch the walls. Not an earthquake.

Confused, but fully alert, I sprang out of bed, defying the vibrations that actually feel quite good in the moment, and walked around the house, looking out windows. I saw nothing out of place, and there was a very slight breeze in the front of the house, but none of the chimes in the back of the house were moving even a little bit.

Reassured, but still nervous, I called one of my abduction buddies, "Valerie," and we talked for a half hour or so until I calmed down. I noticed I still had vibrations in my legs and lower torso (though only when I was in bed! not when I was running around the house!) but they lessened more and more as we talked, until all was still again. Weird!

But not unfamiliar...

See, I have this arrangement with the aliens (or their henchmen) to give me a special signal so I can go meet them rather than be taken out of my bed. I've had this going since my late 20s. They don't always agree to these terms, but they often do, which I ask for in order to decrease paranoia and nervousness in my own bed. I recall leaving to such a sound shortly after I moved to Ghost Lake House to check the back porch and saw (I'm assuming) someone who was clearly not normal. (There was telepathy, so it wasn't a typical intruder or peeping tom.) I let them in. We went to my room. We spoke. I gave him a book and papers at one point. And-- we left and came back. Don't have a lot of memory.

However--! It is much easier to hold onto memory if one walks around in one's own environment for a time rather than going from bed directly into THEIR environment and mental control! The time I was signaled, went to meet them, and was returned-- well, what memory I DO have from that particular wave of abductions was almost exclusively from that one meeting.

So-- I heard the weird chimes in a distinct tune, assumed they were there, and the strong bedquake sort of confirmed something was up. And yet...? It didn't turn out that way. I tend to think these types of events are tests, though. Usually, I get a couple of them before they try something new with me. My best guess is that THIS time I was extremely wide awake when I heard a signal (not always chimes-- it is usually a strange electronic buzzing or chirping. I prefer chime-tunes. Less adrenaline inducing!) The last time I was definitely under their mental influence, in that hazy state... This time, full BETA brain waves, but I still responded "appropriately."

New phase? I could hope! I'm not nearly as scared, and far more curious, than I was in my youth! I would very much like to retain more control and more memory. I keep asking for it, I know. I still very much doubt they'll give in to me, but I can always hope-- and so I do.

As I spoke to Valerie last night, the weird buzzing of my body diminishing steadily, I once again wondered why the heck they'd even still work with me. I just don't get it. I'm getting too old for this, and yet even the elderly in the program are still taken sometimes I've heard. I can't remember enough to guess what the heck I even do with them. I have an idea of what I did in early adulthood, but the last 20 years or so are far more shrouded in mystery...

Only major bitch I have is that I woke up in pain from clenching my jaws and sleeping curled in a very hunched over tense ball. Really fucked up my back and neck again! I know it is from unconscious fear during sleep. It is even possible they took me after all once I was asleep again. I don't believe so, but i couldn't know for sure. Regardless, this is agonizing on top of the pain flares from packing! My pain appointment can't come soon enough!

Jan. 16th, 2018


Sharn Has Passed On - The Luminous Fog

One reason I haven't been able to post much--? One of my roomies, Sharn, who had cancer, got very sick and was undergoing treatment (chemo and radiation both). She got an infection a month ago that put her in the hospital emergency room, then ICU. She beat the infection, somehow, and was transferred to Oncology. There, her cancer, which was slowed by the 3 treatments she'd undergone, if not put into remission-- went into overdrive. Cat has been at her mother's side, refusing to leave her hospital room, for just over 3 weeks.

Cat's vigil is over. She's coming home at some point tonight. Her mother, Sharn, died at 11:30 pm. That's when the monitors caught it in the hospital in Seattle, and that's when my laptop (the old one, granted) just shut off abruptly for no reason. It startled me, but I really thought it was another sign of my old laptop botching up (though it has never done THAT before!)

That's also when Sharn's clock stopped-- except it stopped at exactly 11:30 am today, a full 12 hours before Sharn died. I've heard of clocks stopping, but at the exact time EARLIER? It was a mantel clock Sharn always wound faithfully until she was confined to her bedroom. Cat was the last one to wind it before going to join her mother at the hospital over 3 weeks ago. The clock started up again this morning, I noticed, which was weird (it ran out its gears a few days ago) but then stopped again at that time. I thought about it (I've heard about personal wind up clocks and death) but shrugged it off.

A few minutes after my laptop died (and I started it up again without a problem) my phone rang-- and I pretty much knew...

Its the dark moon, for one thing. The day and night of death, traditionally, and well-known lore for doctors and nurses and hospice workers. For another, there was the clock thing.

For yet another, this afternoon I suddenly fell apart in a crying jag that lasted for almost an hour. I could just FEEL something, and I couldn't stop sobbing. I've felt out of it all day, but this afternoon and evening were especially bad.

Cat felt it too. We actually planned a memorial service and green burial over the phone right after that, because we were both feeling weird. She thought her mother would be gone by the weekend, but hoped it might be sooner, because Sharn was starting to feel pain towards the end, and needed some morphine to feel more comfortable, and until the day before had not needed it.

As I was on the phone with Cat talking about her mother just dying, I noticed that the light from the hallway seemed to be getting brighter and brighter. I thought it was an electric thing, so just shrugged mentally at first. Then, I realized there was a feeling of comforting Presence, and the light was coming from a sort of luminous fog or smoke that was sort of spilling into my den's doorway. I figured out what it was and excused myself from the phone call.

I stood up and approached the oddly white stuff, and realized it was more astral than physical, but I still saw it physically. The 3 young cat siblings were basking in it. I began speaking to this presence, convinced it was Sharn, although not alone-- with an escort. Mind you, I could not see figures in the fog-light, it was too dense to make out the outlines of figures, but I could FEEL them. I said my good-byes and actually walked through it to go down the hallway. Sure enough-- the fog followed and so did the kitties. I spoke for a few minutes and thanked Sharn and gave her my love and promised her that Cat and I would be okay and figure things out. I reminded her to check out the "Singing Pyramids" in the afterlife realms that I told her about. Oh-- and she was welcome to join my aunt Ruth to escort me to the other side when it was my time to cross over. As soon as I said good-bye formally, the weird bright light mist dissolved quickly and the cats, utterly nonchalant, scattered as well.

It's funny how comfortable cats are with spirits...

My impression was that Sharn knew, given all my experiences I've related to her, that I would realize what was happening and not be either too confused or scared. (Cat did not experience anything like what I did, and she was her daughter and life-long friend.) As it was, I feel I rose to the challenge and got to address her-- though everything I said was pretty much things I've made sure to say at least a couple of times over the last year. Still, it was obvious she was happy and going to a good place! It was a holy light I saw-- though I would be hard-pressed to explain how I knew beyond common cultural beliefs. Like knowing she was with a spiritual escort... that part I just knew without knowing how I knew.

Point is, I know she's okay. Still existing in a different form, and still cares enough to make sure we know she's okay, because of course I told Cat EVERYTHING. It is very reassuring, even if we'll miss her 'down here' on the material plane.

Also--? It means Cat comes home tonight. She hasn't been home in 3 weeks and it is getting lonely around here!

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