For a good 5 days in a row, I couldn't sleep without taking cannabis or anti-histamines. Both make me wake up groggy and muddy headed for hours the next day, so I avoid them if possible. But I was desperate by 2 or 3 in the morning for several nights in a row!
Maybe something was happening to me unawares...
I got my possible clue when something occurred out of the blue last night.
I was finishing watching a dull show before bed (which I often do.) In this case, it was Hallmark's "The Good Witch" which is an insipid series but perfect for non-triggering drama before sleep. In the middle of the episode, I started feeling watched.
We don't have all our curtains or shades yet downstairs. It's a low priority given that we're surrounded by trees and brush that render our property hard to see except from one angle on the road-- which isn't that busy. Our neighbor can see us in our kitchen if she's outside on one spot on her porch, otherwise, no one can see anything, really. However, if a person walked onto the property, they'd have free views through many windows.
Well, I suddenly felt as though someone was staring at me through the windows! It was a STRONG feeling, completely unbidden, that made no sense. I had no cannabis or anything else that could cause paranoia that night or earlier in the day or the night before for that matter. So when I got a massive case of The Dreads on top of an awareness of Presence, I started to wonder if something was up...
The Greys project a telepathic aura of Presence that invokes fear in people. Maybe it's a defense mechanism they use on purpose, or maybe they can't help projecting that Presence, but it's a distinctive feeling. My ex-husband called it "Dragon Fear" after a concept from a D & D based set of fantasy books in which the appearance of a dragon caused fear so great in humans that they were often rendered paralyzed. I think it's a great term for it myself, obviously-- because it helps explain to non-abductees what it feels like.
Meanwhile, I couldn't help noticing that all the night sounds and activity went away. In true Oz Factor fashion, the world contracted and the atmosphere grew THICK. For 2 hours straight on a Friday night of a holiday weekend, we had ZERO traffic! This is not common. Even for a rural road, we are the only way to get certain places and we have at least 5 cars an hour early at night-- and more like 30 or so Friday and Saturday nights during tourist season. Zero was not normal by a long shot-- and yet--? No cars. This observation clenched my stomach and increased my uneasiness.
It started around 10:30 which is when I generally get ready for bed. I stayed up due to the feeling of being watched until 12:30-- and the feeling stayed, and if anything, it intensified. If I could walk, I'd go outside with a flashlight and some pepper spray and walk the grounds. I see animals all the time, including predators, around at night and never have that intensely watched feeling like that, EVER. This was different-- but familiar. I've felt it before and it always sent me into an absolute PANIC.
But I didn't panic. Not this time, and not the last few times possibly alien-induced phenomena has occurred. That's an achievement for sure! I've really been working to stay calm and yet alert at these times.
I did. My heart was beating a little fast, and I was very alert and aware-- but I didn't escalate that bodily trigger into anything truly fear inducing.
As I went to my bedroom and got ready for bed, the feeling escalated even more, and I felt confrontation was imminent and texted an abductee buddy. I was likely to make a phone call, as I've promised myself to do if it seems things are going down. "Here we go..." I thought.
But then, over about 5 minutes, the Presence just... dissipated. My buddy texted back, a coyote howled several times near-by, and a couple of cars finally passed on our street! The noise and LIFE returned as the paranoid feeling vanished. This is also how things have returned to normal in the past. Everything stops and it's like all of reality is under a spell. Every human in the area except myself goes into deep sleep mode and cannot be awakened. That's why having an abductee buddy who doesn't live in my area is essential-- they are never under the same spell at the same time. It's a truly localized phenomenon.
And I was up another hour, breathing a sigh of relief, as things stayed calm and normal and fine, and I then went to sleep without any issues.
Was it a practice run? Was I just being watched for some reason? Or did coincidence, bodily sensations, and paranoia just manifest spontaneously together? I know a die-hard materialist would conclude the latter, but they don't have my set of experiences with which to judge such things. I've learned to respect reality as it comes to me, not impose my expectations upon it like a godling.
I've had no odd dreams nor bed-shaking to alert me to possible visitations, so I'm not sure what to make of this, but being a bit more aware of possible goings-on seems prudent for a few weeks.