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nymphet

"What. Are. We. Doing. Today. Gerick." (Summer '94)

Being the lover or spouse of an abductee can cause short periods of extreme shock, even if you're an abductee yourself. Case in point:

One summer, Gerick and I, sharing a townhouse with my mother and sister while I worked and Gerick searched for a job, were sleeping in one late morning. It was a weekday, and both my mother and sister were working all day, but I wasn't scheduled. This is important to know for this report!

I was having a strange suspended sleep feeling. It's so subtle that only my own paranoia and over-sensitivity would even have made note of this feeling, but I had identified a strange sensation of feeling "held" in sleep so I could not wake up. I didn't know if it was my brain not working (or -- working?) but I was in that place again. I could feel the bed, but not hear anything or see the sunshine streaming into our room. It wasn't frightening though. It was rather nice, kind of like a deep, meditative trance state without the astral cross-over. There was also a slight memory of just having had a quick conversation with someone, but I was blissfully unworried about the matter now.

The next thing I know, Gerick is jumping off the bed next to me, screaming, "AAAAAAAH! Lucy! LUCY WAKE THE FUCK UP! Oh my gawd! Fuck! FUCK!" -- and I slowly sort of stretched out of sleep, blinking in confusion.

Gerick was standing next to the bed on his side (the left, if you're curious) and staring at me with wide, frantic eyes, sort of half-bouncing from foot to foot in an obvious panic state with one hand on his chest, and the other in his hair!

I still couldn't summon any alarm, which was not normal for me at that time. I was in full-on OTSD (or what I call ONGOING Traumatic Stress Syndrome) from frequent abductions since my early teens, and I would jump out of bed at the slightest noise. Lack of sleep was an ongoing issue of course-- point being I was not in my normal "easy to freak out" mode.

.................. "What...?" I asked in confusion.

"Lucy! They were just here! RIGHT HERE! JUST NOW!"

"Uh... the aliens?" I blinked at him.

"YES!! JESUS FUCK!!" he screamed and morphed his half-dance into pacing around the bed, all the time looking at me like I had grown 2 heads.

Then he told me how HE woke that morning. I include it because it involved me and it turned out I witnessed the visit in a subtle way after all...

Gerick and I could share telepathic conversations if we were both very relaxed and had recently been around aliens. We sometimes did this while both of us were dreaming, messing up one another's dreams and waking up to actual arguments over the resulting confusion. Most often, though, we'd do this right after waking up (without any alarms) and felt too lazy to open our mouths and vibrate our vocal cords. I remind readers of this now, because it is pertinent to what happened. It started off as if we were in the midst of a telepathic early morning conversation. (Generally happened a few times a year-- so not common, but not unfamiliar to either of us by 1994.)

Gerick woke up to my telepathic voice (which oddly sounds very much like we do verbally-- due to how we remember sounding while talking, I imagine) asking him questions. He was very much enjoying sleeping in, so he resisted, telling my voice to leave him alone to sleep.

My voice was relentless, and this pissed him off. Getting angry woke Gerick up.

As he awoke, he realized that my telepathic voice didn't "sound" right. It sounded stilted, almost robotic. The voice was asking him about plans for the day, "What. Time. Are. We. Getting. Up. Today. Gerick?" and then, "What. Are. We. Doing. Today." Gerick was still annoyed, but he was also curious as to why the hell I was speaking in such an odd way. The emotional flavor and sound tonalities (because our telepathic exchanges were always like talking aloud, but kept in our heads, like listening to earphones or something) were entirely missing.

He opened his eyes and rolled over to ask me what the hell was wrong with me and to tell me out loud to please go back to sleep!

But what he saw in that bright, sunny room at around 10 am or so shattered his world in all of a second.

A Grey alien was floating in the air about 3 to 4 inches above me, prostrate and looking down at my face!

He was so shocked that he hesitated to act for a second, just taking in this unbelievable sight! The being was full color and 3-dimensional and very solidly physical. It cast a shadow and Gerick could see the light between the top of the covers over me and the being that was laying down and floating above me. It had it's face over my face, within a couple of inches of my eyes, and my eyes were open. When the aliens do THAT, they're "delving" or getting into your head, so this thing was plugged into my brain in a very up close and personal way. The being was light gray, almost white, but I didn't write down if Gerick said it had all-black eyes or was wearing clothes or appeared naked, so those details are lost. However, I had drawn them before, and Gerick said it looked exactly like my drawing of a slightly higher-up Escort Grey, around 4 feet tall. 'His" greys looked a little different, though, so he knew this guy was batting for 'my' team.

In that second of shock, 'my' grey guy reacted quickly. He reached over and touched the side of Gerick's head (around the temple) very gently, once... twice... three times.

Gerick reported that the feel of the tips of the fingers was tacky-- like scotch tape, to the point he felt his skin lift a little each time the grey pulled it's fingers away. In addition, with each touch, Gerick's entire body went into a deeper and deeper relaxation mode. Touch 1-- and he lost the tension in his body. Touch 2-- and he felt his consciousness sort of 'falling.' By the final touch, he went into a light stage of sleep.

I could speculate all over the place here. A TOUCH from those fingers can make a person unconscious? Built in device, maybe from a body suit? Chemical reactant just on the skin? I'm familiar with the eyes-to-eyes induced sleep, but by finger touch? I've since heard of this from other sources, but I wonder about it for sure. The sticky fingers thing is well reported. Gerick wondered if there were suction cups on the tips of it's fingers (and again, there are reports of this-- but I have yet to notice this myself.)

So-- a few scant seconds later, and the mental influence of this grey vanished suddenly. Gerick abruptly returned to his original state of massive alarm, which is when he jumped out of bed and started screaming, thus waking ME up.

We quickly realized that the alien was using my mental voice to ask Gerick questions in English-- but it did so clumsily, as if unfamiliar with vocal inflections, and that very weirdness was why Gerick came to in the middle of the process. Why those questions? Because my greys wanted to either take me or both of us, and they needed to know if we'd be missed or realize we had missing time. The grey fucked up, and... Gerick got to be a very uncomfortable close witness to one of 'my' group!

He said, "I already knew you were an abductee, but if I had the slightest doubt at all, that's erased it completely!" He was shocked to have the reality of this on a bright and sunny day right in the supposed sanctuary of our bedroom, perhaps because it had been a while since he'd worked directly with greys himself. He had been interacting with human-looking races (or hybrids) since his late teens while I was active with greys primarily well into my 30s.

While we talked, the odd form of suspended sleep I was experiencing earlier suddenly made sense. Also, I had often believed that my greys sometimes floated prostrate above me, but now I had proof my suspicion was correct. More than that, the abrupt alien departure and Gerick's stimulating reactions knocked me out of my suspended and overly-relaxed state...

I remembered a conversation I had just had before that! Someone was in my head, asking me about our plans for the day. I honestly didn't have any, but I wasn't sure what Gerick would be doing. I told the Presence in my head to "ask Gerick" about that! Further, I recalled waking myself up by talking aloud and saying, "Ask my boyfriend!" The memory wasn't sufficiently suppressed, given the grey's emergency exit-- so I got back that tiny bit. It was over me because it asked me first, and then tried to use me to ask Gerick indirectly-- and failed spectacularly.

It's often been said that the lower status greys don't deal with spontaneity or surprises well, and here we have another example of that. Of course, the memory of the Presence in my head asking me about plans was very familiar, so it's obvious that usually they get in and out without too much of an issue. It's when they make mistakes that we are more likely to 'catch' them.

Comments

ANSWERS TO OUTSIDE COMMENTS:

Alien abductions is the initial cause of my panic attacks and PTSD. The medical procedures they gave me led to my dental and medical phobias. I've been steadily reporting on this, eventually it will be a book, or series of books. This is also the source of Gerick's PTSD, as he was also an alien abductee. It's how we met, thru Budd Hopkins, who researched both our cases in the late '80s/ early '90s. And Gerick DID talk about this incident with me many times.

There is no "opt out" option. They make you do things, against your will, etc. In fact, you CAN feel their mind, but it's inside of yours and it makes rape feel friendly in comparison. Most abductees who remember some of these encounters call these mental intrusions "mind rape" so you GET IT. That's EXACTLY why this shit messes us up for life. And it never ends. They can come and re-mind-rape us at any time and there is no real defense... ever. And we know it.

This causes massive issues of PTSD (only without having it end...) so we're in an on-going state of siege. They usually come at night or when we're isolated. They come into our bedrooms or take us out of them when we sleep and at the most vulnerable. They also do sexual reproductive procedures on us for their hybrid human-alien project which has been going on at least 60 years now.

I'm not accepting so much as resigned. I can't get away from it, so I've been pushing back as much as I can with the aliens when I have any opportunity. I've been doing a lot of therapy on myself, and I had some with abduction-believing therapists long ago a few times. Just being believed and supported goes a long way. This is the BIG BAD that fucked me up and that I've used Ecstasy to combat the lingering horror that made me an insomniac paranoid mental mess for decades. I can't ever get away from this reality in my life, so I have to make room for it and take back what power I can. My posts at At Spiral's End on Livejournal are my examining my memories of my experiences to share and to put into perspective. Just writing about these things and doing so while calm helps take away the power of the fear.

=^)