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Jun. 17th, 2019


"What. Are. We. Doing. Today. Gerick." (Summer '94)

Being the lover or spouse of an abductee can cause short periods of extreme shock, even if you're an abductee yourself. Case in point:

One summer, Gerick and I, sharing a townhouse with my mother and sister while I worked and Gerick searched for a job, were sleeping in one late morning. It was a weekday, and both my mother and sister were working all day, but I wasn't scheduled. This is important to know for this report!

I was having a strange suspended sleep feeling. It's so subtle that only my own paranoia and over-sensitivity would even have made note of this feeling, but I had identified a strange sensation of feeling "held" in sleep so I could not wake up. I didn't know if it was my brain not working (or -- working?) but I was in that place again. I could feel the bed, but not hear anything or see the sunshine streaming into our room. It wasn't frightening though. It was rather nice, kind of like a deep, meditative trance state without the astral cross-over. There was also a slight memory of just having had a quick conversation with someone, but I was blissfully unworried about the matter now.

The next thing I know, Gerick is jumping off the bed next to me, screaming, "AAAAAAAH! Lucy! LUCY WAKE THE FUCK UP! Oh my gawd! Fuck! FUCK!" -- and I slowly sort of stretched out of sleep, blinking in confusion.

Gerick was standing next to the bed on his side (the left, if you're curious) and staring at me with wide, frantic eyes, sort of half-bouncing from foot to foot in an obvious panic state with one hand on his chest, and the other in his hair!

I still couldn't summon any alarm, which was not normal for me at that time. I was in full-on OTSD (or what I call ONGOING Traumatic Stress Syndrome) from frequent abductions since my early teens, and I would jump out of bed at the slightest noise. Lack of sleep was an ongoing issue of course-- point being I was not in my normal "easy to freak out" mode.

.................. "What...?" I asked in confusion.

"Lucy! They were just here! RIGHT HERE! JUST NOW!"

"Uh... the aliens?" I blinked at him.

"YES!! JESUS FUCK!!" he screamed and morphed his half-dance into pacing around the bed, all the time looking at me like I had grown 2 heads.

Then he told me how HE woke that morning. I include it because it involved me and it turned out I witnessed the visit in a subtle way after all...

Gerick and I could share telepathic conversations if we were both very relaxed and had recently been around aliens. We sometimes did this while both of us were dreaming, messing up one another's dreams and waking up to actual arguments over the resulting confusion. Most often, though, we'd do this right after waking up (without any alarms) and felt too lazy to open our mouths and vibrate our vocal cords. I remind readers of this now, because it is pertinent to what happened. It started off as if we were in the midst of a telepathic early morning conversation. (Generally happened a few times a year-- so not common, but not unfamiliar to either of us by 1994.)

Gerick woke up to my telepathic voice (which oddly sounds very much like we do verbally-- due to how we remember sounding while talking, I imagine) asking him questions. He was very much enjoying sleeping in, so he resisted, telling my voice to leave him alone to sleep.

My voice was relentless, and this pissed him off. Getting angry woke Gerick up.

As he awoke, he realized that my telepathic voice didn't "sound" right. It sounded stilted, almost robotic. The voice was asking him about plans for the day, "What. Time. Are. We. Getting. Up. Today. Gerick?" and then, "What. Are. We. Doing. Today." Gerick was still annoyed, but he was also curious as to why the hell I was speaking in such an odd way. The emotional flavor and sound tonalities (because our telepathic exchanges were always like talking aloud, but kept in our heads, like listening to earphones or something) were entirely missing.

He opened his eyes and rolled over to ask me what the hell was wrong with me and to tell me out loud to please go back to sleep!

But what he saw in that bright, sunny room at around 10 am or so shattered his world in all of a second.

A Grey alien was floating in the air about 3 to 4 inches above me, prostrate and looking down at my face!

He was so shocked that he hesitated to act for a second, just taking in this unbelievable sight! The being was full color and 3-dimensional and very solidly physical. It cast a shadow and Gerick could see the light between the top of the covers over me and the being that was laying down and floating above me. It had it's face over my face, within a couple of inches of my eyes, and my eyes were open. When the aliens do THAT, they're "delving" or getting into your head, so this thing was plugged into my brain in a very up close and personal way. The being was light gray, almost white, but I didn't write down if Gerick said it had all-black eyes or was wearing clothes or appeared naked, so those details are lost. However, I had drawn them before, and Gerick said it looked exactly like my drawing of a slightly higher-up Escort Grey, around 4 feet tall. 'His" greys looked a little different, though, so he knew this guy was batting for 'my' team.

In that second of shock, 'my' grey guy reacted quickly. He reached over and touched the side of Gerick's head (around the temple) very gently, once... twice... three times.

Gerick reported that the feel of the tips of the fingers was tacky-- like scotch tape, to the point he felt his skin lift a little each time the grey pulled it's fingers away. In addition, with each touch, Gerick's entire body went into a deeper and deeper relaxation mode. Touch 1-- and he lost the tension in his body. Touch 2-- and he felt his consciousness sort of 'falling.' By the final touch, he went into a light stage of sleep.

I could speculate all over the place here. A TOUCH from those fingers can make a person unconscious? Built in device, maybe from a body suit? Chemical reactant just on the skin? I'm familiar with the eyes-to-eyes induced sleep, but by finger touch? I've since heard of this from other sources, but I wonder about it for sure. The sticky fingers thing is well reported. Gerick wondered if there were suction cups on the tips of it's fingers (and again, there are reports of this-- but I have yet to notice this myself.)

So-- a few scant seconds later, and the mental influence of this grey vanished suddenly. Gerick abruptly returned to his original state of massive alarm, which is when he jumped out of bed and started screaming, thus waking ME up.

We quickly realized that the alien was using my mental voice to ask Gerick questions in English-- but it did so clumsily, as if unfamiliar with vocal inflections, and that very weirdness was why Gerick came to in the middle of the process. Why those questions? Because my greys wanted to either take me or both of us, and they needed to know if we'd be missed or realize we had missing time. The grey fucked up, and... Gerick got to be a very uncomfortable close witness to one of 'my' group!

He said, "I already knew you were an abductee, but if I had the slightest doubt at all, that's erased it completely!" He was shocked to have the reality of this on a bright and sunny day right in the supposed sanctuary of our bedroom, perhaps because it had been a while since he'd worked directly with greys himself. He had been interacting with human-looking races (or hybrids) since his late teens while I was active with greys primarily well into my 30s.

While we talked, the odd form of suspended sleep I was experiencing earlier suddenly made sense. Also, I had often believed that my greys sometimes floated prostrate above me, but now I had proof my suspicion was correct. More than that, the abrupt alien departure and Gerick's stimulating reactions knocked me out of my suspended and overly-relaxed state...

I remembered a conversation I had just had before that! Someone was in my head, asking me about our plans for the day. I honestly didn't have any, but I wasn't sure what Gerick would be doing. I told the Presence in my head to "ask Gerick" about that! Further, I recalled waking myself up by talking aloud and saying, "Ask my boyfriend!" The memory wasn't sufficiently suppressed, given the grey's emergency exit-- so I got back that tiny bit. It was over me because it asked me first, and then tried to use me to ask Gerick indirectly-- and failed spectacularly.

It's often been said that the lower status greys don't deal with spontaneity or surprises well, and here we have another example of that. Of course, the memory of the Presence in my head asking me about plans was very familiar, so it's obvious that usually they get in and out without too much of an issue. It's when they make mistakes that we are more likely to 'catch' them.

Jun. 4th, 2019


The Jinn (Aug - Oct 1998)

[I'm having a hard time deciding where to start regarding my memories of odd events and encounters during my 20s. So-- I'll do what's worked before to get me going and just write what inspires me. That means I'll be skipping around. When last we left this saga, I was 24 in 1994. Don't worry, I'll get it all covered! Eventually, I plan to put ALL memories into chronological order on a nice, polished website. That will be my "second draft" before turning it into a book. For now, however..? I'm writing rough draft style and the most important thing to do there is simply... write!]

The Jinn, also known as "the Black Smoke Monster," seemed to emerge somehow after a binding spell gone wrong. I don't know for certain that was it-- it may have been a coincidence OR it could have been a combination of factors. I had a thriving pagan circle where I was teaching some basics in magick, dodging sticky witch groups with nefarious agendas, and experimenting, a lot, with spellcrafting. Book learning is one thing, but hands on is another. Some things were coming together for me, like understanding how much of magick is psychology that taps into the subconscious mind. I had this bright idea one lunar eclipse (August 8th, to be precise) to bind my own fear. I had a dental appointment coming up and I was dreading my entirely predictable and humiliating meltdown.

What could go wrong?

It's hilarious to me that paranormal experts will decry the use of ouija boards when the truth is that most such things simply don't work, are faked, or require a true medium to "tap in" -- and at the right time when some stray spirit (or whatever) happens by. A binding of an emotion...minor, right? I still don't get it. Also-? My idea bombed. I was still a basket case at the dentist, and-- once more, a totally new guy sent me home with a prescription for 2 pills of Valium, which I was required to take before he attempted to work on me again. I scared him and he declared me "the worst case of dental phobia I've seen in over 30 years of practice!" Lesson learned! THAT idea didn't work!

Regardless, 3 days later I had my first sighting of an entirely new phenomenon-- a small black blob of smoke.

I had started hearing whacks and thumps in random places around the house before this and sighed... we'd been having regular bouts of oddities since getting our own apartment next door to my mother's apartment. I was rather used to such things. I noted it and went on with my life. But then I was at the computer and felt a strange little shift to the air. Nothing big- just a feeling of something off. I was browsing the internet or something and stopped to look around the room. I was in our little office upstairs and all the lights were on.

To my shock, a smallish black thing was sort of float-scooting across the floor! It moved at a good pace and went right by where I was sitting so I had several seconds to just stare at it. What I saw completely confused me...

It was featureless and black, moving like liquid, but it appeared to be made out of opaque black SMOKE. The smoke substance sort of roiled slowly back into itself rather than disappating like smoke would be expected to do. What's more, it moved intelligently, coming out from under the guest bed and into the room, and then turning around to go back under as if it realized I'd seen it! I jumped down to look under the bed and saw nothing, though. I then raced from the room and told Gerick, but he was skeptical. Until a couple days later he saw it the same way-- at night on the internet and looked down, thinking a cat was by his feet (we had a black cat after all!) and found it wasn't what he was thought.

The thumps and whacks quieted a little bit, but I kept seeing a small black thing every couple of days. Always inside the house with us, and generally in a cat-like shape. As time went on, it got bigger and we got more interference with our lights and electrical systems, but beyond that-- no harm at all. It slunk about as if trying to avoid being seen in general. But then it sometimes tapped where it was, and I could turn and look at the source of the sound and see it! Like it wanted me to know it was there. It did not emulate this behavior with Gerick, as he and I continued to compare notes as the weeks wore on, nor did it try to get the attention of any of our guests.

Usually I was alone when I saw it, but a couple of times a member of my pagan circle would see it around during meetings. I shrugged and said it wasn't doing any harm thus far, so... I was letting it go. Eventually, it was the size of a very BIG cat. I started talking to it when I saw it, but it didn't seem able to understand "yes" and "no" and I got the feeling it was very young or primitive. There was a strong sense of curiosity from it though! It's behavior got more nuanced, but it also acted out more and in bigger ways.

By September, our faucets were turning themselves on-- or, rather, we suspected this smoke thing was doing it. It had never happened before and suddenly it was happening every few days! Meanwhile, the thing was growing. And I kept catching it walking UPRIGHT like a person! It was the size of a 3 or 4 year old in human form by the end of our time together (a little less than 3 months). I felt no threat from it though. NONE. If it was a demon or anything of the sort, I reasoned, I should have felt that dark menacing atmosphere that typically comes with evil spiritual entities. It was utterly neutral though.

It seemed to be learning. Watching us and mimicking us, standing up and walking-- using arms to peer around corners. It was kind of cute, actually. I know that seems insane to a person who has lived an ordinary life, but after dealing with aliens and all sorts of astral nasties, this black smoke thing was just adorable in comparison! Just because it was a black color, I didn't automatically assign it a dark motive. Maybe it ate light? Was that the action of the black smoke movement on its surface? Living things need to eat. Light is a form of energy. So... did it eat energy?

I left food out for it. Milk. Honey. The classic fairy foods and nothing happened. It kept getting into the wiring of the house and making the lights blink. Oh-- and BATTERIES. It drained every battery in our house-- over and over again! That 3 month period of time saw remote controls going dead every few days and even brand new batteries in packages went dead within a few days. We had battery testers and kept checking-- fresh batteries didn't live long with this black smoke thing around. I reasoned it was eating that energy, too. But feeding a semi-astral beastie batteries is damned expensive.

And water-- why water? It didn't go after still water. It seemed to crave moving water... If I'd had more money (we were barely keeping up in batteries) I would have set up a flowing fountain for it to eat. Seems like the cheapest way to go! But never got that far.

The water faucets going on became a daily thing by October. Gerick was beside himself to get rid of it and vexed with me for not being more antagonistic towards it. But I was too amazed. It was walking around now! Would it reach full grown human form? And THEN what? It never had features beyond the black smoke in a roughly cat or human-like shape. Would that change? I was fascinated with my troublesome pet! (I am truly a witch I guess...) Gerick was far less charmed.

Then one day all the faucets in the bathroom went on (tub and sink) and I rushed upstairs. To my amazement, the TOILET started to fill and overflow. I watched in horror as the handle on the back of it by the floor turned and turned! I jumped down and closed it, and it turned against my hand, it was stronger than me! SHIT!! I raced out of the townhouse and to the apartment of the manager who also did handyman duty. He came over and tried to turn it off and watched as it turned itself back on again. The sink and tub also came back on. I was freaking at that point (more about floor damage than about a spirit) and he assured me the water pressure was too high-- that's all! So he turned the main line off outside, then back on. And everything seemed okay... for a couple of hours.

So after I got everything cleaned up, I turned the faucet on downstairs in the kitchen on low and left it on and told the thing in my house I'd leave one on all the time but to STOP getting into the pipes and fucking around!

It stopped fucking with the pipes. In fact, it never turned another faucet on again. It understood basic directives now. It was learning English fast, I thought. I tried asking it yes and no questions using tapping again, but it didn't seem to know what it was. Was it a ghost? No. Was it a spirit? No. Was it a demon? No. It said it was not lost, but it liked me and it wanted to stay. Beyond that I could get little information. After a few taps, it would be "tapped out" and cease to answer. Every session pretty much only got this far and no further. But I was intrigued that it could communicate now, even if only a little.

However, it resumed feeding (I assume) off the electrical wiring. It got into my phone line when I was talking to my friend Robin a few times, causing crazy interference. Then... the final straw came one day in late October.

It got into our computer!!

I could hear it making sounds in our office, and then I heard the computer come on by itself and the modem (remember those screeching things back in the 90s?) went on and I flipped out! I ran up the stairs and told that thing to get the FUCK out of my computer, my wiring, my pipes, and my home! It had pissed me off and I was banishing it! I started flinging astral energy all over the place (hard to explain, but by this time, I'd learned a technique or two...) and mostly around the office.

There was a final screeeech from the modem-- and then it all went quiet. Completely quiet. I never saw the smoke monster again. It ended up being so easy to get rid of I was astonished all over again. There was a connection with ME, and I had to be the one to banish it, apparently.

Why do I call it a Jinn? Well, according to Occult World (dot come):

"A Djinn (genii, ginn, jann, jinn, shayatin, shaytan) is in Arabic lore, a type of interfering spirit, often Demonlike, but not equivalent to a Demon."

But more than that, it seems to be equated with shape-shifting and dark smoke in the mythologies. This black smoke entity definitely fits both categories. It made mischief, behaving like an invisible poltergeist most of the time. Jinn seem to only be seen or experienced in desert environments or during dry and low humid conditions (like Oregon late-August/early autumn.)

Further, in more recent reports of black smoke shape-shifting entities, as in Skinwalker Ranch in Utah-- I'm starting to see similarities between Native American communities of the southwestern U.S. and the dry inter-mountain areas and their experiences with the Middle Eastern mythologies. I don't think it's a coincidence the black smoke entities are typically seen in deserts. Interestingly, both widely divergent cultures say that these things are not quite like a regular demon because they make connections and have relationships with humans and can be like a witch's familiar or a sorcerer's lackey. If one knows how to "use" them, they can be handy-- like poltergeists you can boss around.

I did go on a trip to the Oregon desert with my group earlier in June for Litha. We did several rituals out there and had a great time. Maybe, just maybe, I attracted a little jinn to me during that time. It may have taken it a few weeks to manifest into the physical. There is a possible desert connection there. Maybe deserts are just the natural home of these entities...

My smoke monster was connected to ME somehow, and I had to be the one to make it leave. Gerick tried numerous times and had no power over it. Not with sage or chanting. As it never hurt me or my cats, I purposely didn't drive it away, because I was trying to figure out what the fuck it was and why and how it was with me. I leak energy like a sieve, so I'm pretty certain I "fed" it by merely letting it be around me. But as it grew it seemed to need flowing things to feed it-- like electricity or moving water. I was studying my jinn because I found it's existence absolutely fascinating!

That's the only time I think I've ever encountered a jinn. It didn't scare me, I am left intrigued and confused though. Had I the knowledge THEN that I do NOW, I think I could have done a lot more with the little fella!

May. 24th, 2019


Here's A Question: Why No Alien Follow-up After My Foot Fractures?

Whenever I MOVE locations for longer than 2 or 3 weeks, I can always count on the aliens coming around to pick me up and check on me. Basically, if I'm somewhere new long enough for it to NOT be just a vacation, they always check me (and the location) out apparently. Again and again, this has held true, even when I moved to Heron House.

However, nothing has changed-- no indication of an abduction-- after my fantastical fall and multiple foot fractures! This was a few weeks ago, and it's been oddly quiet.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Neglected? Relieved? I really don't know. I mean, I was in terrible pain and shock, sick for days... and they either don't KNOW (which means tracking doesn't cover this?) or don't CARE.

They may not be following my personal health as closely as they used to-- I recall some checks for broken ankles when I was a teen, but maybe that was by accident during other things.

It's also possible they picked me up when I was drugged and sleeping that first week I suppose...

I can only wonder, as I do at everything regarding this phenomenon and my day-to-day life.

Apr. 4th, 2019


Suspicious Neck Scratch & Foot Scar

I woke up 2 hours later than normal from a deep, thick sleep. I haven't been sleeping that "hard" in a while, so it was a little weird, but meh! *shrugs*

However, when I got up for my morning routine, I was surprised by the tiny, small point of deep tissue pain I felt when I put my weight on my left foot. It felt like I had the kind of bruise you'd get if you stepped hard on a lego on a hard surface! OUCH! I had not done so the day before or that night, so what gave?

When I looked at my foot, though, there was no bruise. It was so strange to have such a clear point of pain with no source, though, that I felt around with my finger and could feel a small nodule under the skin.


Imagine my surprise when I gave a closer look and could see a very tiny scar in the exact spot where I felt the small something under my skin!

Here it is-- hard to see against the grain of my skin, but the scar is brighter than the regular lines. It is exactly where that deep pain in my foot is! I have not injured my foot recently at all, so this is very strange! Pardon the dirty foot, as I run around in bare feet at home and had not yet had my shower. The scar is circled in green.

To top it off, I discovered a scratch on the back of my neck-- pretty deep! -- where none had been the night before. Just a single scratch-- nothing too deep-- but deeper than when my cat whacks me at night, which is rare but has happened. Also, she doesn't sleep by my head. And-- I have a LOT of hair to get through to my neck while sleeping.

Here's what that looks like!

My first guess, looking at the angle and the little curve, would be that it's self-inflicted. And I can't say for sure that it's not! But my fingernails are very short, and very weak. They rip and tear like paper, they never chip. Scratching myself leads to much milder wounds!

Taken singly, each odd thing is very mild and not too concerning. Taken together (oddly deep sleep, foot pain & scar, neck scratch) and it MAY indicate that something happened to me last night of a less prosaic nature.

Unfortunately, I have zero memory of anything being amiss at all. I didn't see any clues I could have left for myself (unless the neck scratch was one, but again-- I can't scratch myself that deeply!) All I can do is wonder about it because I have nothing to go by but some observations of some odd things.

Still-- duly noted. Maybe more will happen because this is the beginning of an abduction flap. Or- it could be the once-a-year-one-off. I just don't know.

[LATER: Oddly, by nightfall, the extremely bothersome pain at the spot of the scar was nearly gone. Fast healing!]

Mar. 21st, 2019


Belief In Aliens A New Religion?

I will be updating Spiral's end next week. This post will be added there as well.

The article below is a review of a book called 'American Cosmic' and it follows the stories of several anonymous 'high-up' corporate leaders and scientists who secretly believe that aliens who pilot UFOs are real and may even be here actively.


The idea it could be a new religion stems from the alien encounters themselves, which resemble "holy" encounters with divine beings during biblical times and for many religions still followed today, and even more that are long gone.

The book becomes a little of an adventure story as the author meets various high up people who take this controversial stance... at least in private.

I admit I'm curious as to what the author found...

Nov. 26th, 2018


Sharn's Spirit Visits At Thanksgiving

While Cat was at a car appointment, I was laying down listening to a podcast on low, being lazy and cuddling with our male cat, Mez. Tess was upstairs, dead asleep, due to her overnight shifts at work. So the house was quiet except for my program.

I was surprised to hear Cat suddenly in the kitchen/keeping area next to my bedroom say, "Hey Cleo!" to another cat. For one, I didn't hear Cat come home, and for another, the voice sounded more like Cat's mother, Sharn. Mez sat up abruptly at hearing the voice, then meowed, then jumped down off the bed to be let out. I followed, saying, "You wanna see Cat?" I thought it was weird he was so excited. He greets us at the door sometimes, but calmly and silently, a happy tail with a leg brush and back to his kitty business. I went out the door to say hi to Cat and tell her she sounded eerily like her mother just now.

But when I stepped out into the area in question, Cat wasn't there. Cleo was sitting in a box by the keeping area hearth, looking contented. Meanwhile, Fiona, another of the kitty siblings, came rushing down the stairs and looking around like she heard the voice, too.

What the HELL was going ON?

I checked for Cat's car. It wasn't around so neither was she. I knocked on Tess's door, she sleepily answered. I asked if she had been downstairs--? It was obviously a no, but she said it anyway. I apologized for bothering her and continued to check the house. Mez, in the meantime, had been meowing and running from place to place in the house, obviously actively looking for someone specific. I walked back downstairs, puzzled, thinking about how much the voice sounded like Sharn. Maybe it was her... coming by for a holiday visit?

My podcast featured a man's voice in a monologue, and my ipod was on my left side. The voice, by contrast came from my bedroom door on my right side and was clearly a woman-- in fact, a specific woman. Mez's behavior was also notable, as he was Sharn's cat (or, rather, Sharn was his human.) His wonder and happiness at hearing THAT voice, and then subsequent confusion were clear as I watched him run around the house, searching for Sharn! It was ultimately Mez's behavior that convinced me I definitely wasn't either dreaming or confused.

I felt a sense of presence when I first walked out of the room into the rest of the house, but it soon faded, and I felt alone again, except for the cats. The voice had been so LOUD and OBVIOUS that it was really rather crazy to me-- as was the fact I only heard a quick sentence and nothing more. I had to tell Cat about it when she got home, and Tess about it when she got up. It was a very strange experience, and it made me cry with the significance of it. I have mixed feelings about Sharn's death. I miss her, of course, and feel bad she missed out seeing this new home. On the other hand, she was suffering there at the end, and Cat needed to be able to finish growing up and living her own life. I still feel a little guilty for the relief I felt when she passed. I was glad to move on.

However, even so, I didn't find the experience scary at all, since it was clearly Sharn and she's hardly frightening. If it was indeed her and not, say, a time-slip of Cat coming home (which wouldn't provoke the same kind of behavior out of Mez-- we TESTED that theory to see for sure!) then apparently she just came briefly to look around. I've heard it is not uncommon for the recently dead to visit briefly from time to time, apparently looking up their loved ones. If so, I hope she liked what she saw!

Finally, we had our Thanksgiving meal. Cat was in charge this year and she doesn't really cook that much, but it was one of the best meals I've ever had! Perfect turkey, perfect stuffing made from scratch, and a wonderful homemade cranberry sauce sweetened with honey! I made green beans with bacon and onions as my contribution, and that worked great as well. I was flaring last week, as I recovered from that infection, so I never got around to getting stuff to make a dessert, but it wasn't missed, since the regular food was so good everyone had thirds!

Cat confessed to me that she was having one of the best weeks she's had since her mother died, and going back before that a while as well. She gifted herself a great car, made a great meal like her mother used to, and maybe even had her mom's spirit stop by to see how she was doing, and that made her feel really good. She reported feeling her mother's presence for a couple of days around Thanksgiving, so for her, it was profoundly reassuring.

Oct. 11th, 2018


A Blue-White Flash & Guts

This happened officially around 1 in the morning technically on the 8th-- but to me, the night belongs to the day before, so we're calling it the night of Sunday the 7th. Also, I finally thought to take pics 3 days later that I am sharing below.

I've reported on some odd snapping or thwacking sounds and oddly moving shadows in our new home. It quieted down a lot after our last smudging and all went silent and calm for weeks.

The weirdness came back on Sunday night.

I was up a little late, just finishing watching a show before going to bed. All the lights were off in the house, but for very dim night lights trained along floors to avoid tripping, and so I was able to see something remarkable that I otherwise would have missed.

Behind me, in the back of the house, something flashed a bluish-white light at a very odd angle and limited to showing up through only one window. At first, I thought, "lightning?"-- but I didn't see a flash in the big bay window I sit in. Nor did any light come through the kitchen windows, which I can see in my peripheral vision. The light flash came through the back door behind me. It resembled a photographic flash, actually, so my second guess was that it was someone with a camera out back.

Well, I looked and no one was out there. Tess and Oliver were dead asleep in her room. No sign of neighbors outside either.

More than that though, I realized the ANGLE of the light required the light source to be up in the air about 10 feet! I figured this out by the light reflection upon my entertainment cabinet and the floor. It was very obviously from a light thru that back door window and it shown clearly.

See, that window has a decal on it that only allows clear light from 2 clear area cut out of the decal, and some filtered light through the decals themselves. They're the window clings I put up to grant a little more privacy and a bit more "Victorian" flavor compared to the totally open windows on the doors that are there.

Here you see the window in question. I clearly saw the blue-white light as brighter in the same shape as this window, decal included. In fact, the top of the decal wasn't showing! Which meant that the light was high enough to be partially cut off by the deep overhang of the porch! This gave me a way to estimate exactly how high the light would have to be and how far away, given that the light was limited to coming in a specific window. The angles of a Victorian house present a unique opportunity for this kind of thing, I'm finding. Which is how I know it had to have been 9 to 12 feet up. Too tall to be a person with a camera and flash, but not too high, as the eaves would have blocked more light still, or prevented it from coming in that specific and deeply placed window entirely. As I worked out how it had to have happened, angle-wise, I grew more concerned. It was not lining up for a more prosaic explanation-- which I am only too happy to find, by the way!

I am not on the ball, so though I worked all this out the next day-- it was 3 days later before I went to the yard to take pics because-- HELLO? For once I have a physical thing to take a photo of!  A few days earlier when I traced the path back from the door, I nearly stepped on a little surprise right below where that flash would have come from:


I should have put my shoe in there for size reference. I'm so unfocused these days! But they are the size of the digestive tract of a rabbit or cat, I'd estimate. What struck me as weird, was how the guts were so CLEAN. No blood, hair, skin, or bones attached. They were totally fresh, looking even better than what you see here, photographed 3 mornings later. Nothing wants to eat them, not even flies, except for yellow jackets. I mean, I considered that maybe they'd been dropped from above by a bird of prey... but wouldn't they look... MESSIER!?  Also, I looked around the area for more of the carcass, and could find nothing at all-- no bones or anything. Large owls might perch on those fir trees and drop things, but just the guts? HUH?!?

Here I put a used paint can right next to the guts on the ground (I wasn't about to touch them!) to show relationship between their placement and the back door to the house. Not far away at all! The door with the window is the one the light came through, and you can see in the reflections that a dense stand of Douglas firs grows beyond this open area.

So... I don't get it. I just don't get it. I mean, I can't say for sure that the blue-white flash was a something popping into our reality, only to drop guts from... a surgically mutilated cat or rabbit maybe? (There is an area of Washington State that is getting a rash of surgically mutilated cats right now.) I can't explain the light, but previous experience with blue-white light tends to be related to aliens. The oddly clean guts being in the same location is a disturbing coincidence. It happened in a flash of maybe 2 seconds. And I got up and looked around.

But that wasn't the end of the weirdness. The snapping sounds came back, within about 10 seconds of the flash. I was up and looking around, and that sound came back-- the source seemingly up the stairs near the laundry room-- which is where I almost always hear it if I am downstairs. And-- I saw a couple of odd shadows.

And I felt watched and nervous! There was sudden presence in our home, and everyone was deeply asleep except for me. Which I really fucking HATE.

But I have a back-up plan!

I called my abductee friend in Texas, Valerie. I texted her first and luckily she was up. I was actually on the phone with her when a small shadow, moving almost like a thick liquid, sort of poured down in front of me. The light was dim-- so was it a "floater" in my eye? I moved my eyes around, and it kept to its trajectory of falling to the floor. It rounded into a sphere the size of a baseball at about my face-level and fell to the floor in slow motion. I exclaimed about it to Valerie, who was on the phone with me, and she said she heard a very weird sound, like a high-pitched whimper or something, just as the shadow was crossing at my face level to the floor (and by my phone.) I heard nothing on my end, so that was another weird little thing. This shadow thing passed obviously in front of my face by only a foot or so. It was close!

I talked to Val for a half hour or so, and the feeling of presence diminished and the sounds and shadows went away. Faery or dimensional intrusion? I don't know. But I mark it here. I actually forgot about it after the next day (which is when I looked around and figured angles and saw the guts) and Val's email reminded me days later and I went outside to look around and take these pics. The guts are a little less "pretty"-- but still in remarkable shape considering.

THIS is the kind of strange, peripheral event that happens in fits and spurts to abductees on a semi-regular basis! I don't know what triggers these flaps to start and stop, but they happen, and lots of things that make no sense and can't really be proven or figured out occur all around the other phenomena. This is one example of what I mean. I've forgotten tons of details on these types of events from my past, but I am making a concerted effort to report faithfully every single strange thing. My time is limited, as is my energy, these days, so I nearly missed going outside to look around at where that light source would have to have been.

Plus, when shit happens, there is often a very powerful reluctance to report it! I actually stopped writing entirely for almost 2 weeks after it happened. I'm pretty much forcing myself to do this now. ANY evidence left (even questionable guts dumped from above in my yard!) seems to evoke a strong need for secrecy, so I apologize for my delay in reporting. I'm a rebel, but "good little abductee" me still has some pull on my psyche, apparently!

As always, anyone who has noticed something similar in their own experiences is strongly encouraged to share in the comments section!

Sep. 10th, 2018


Odd Shadows & Snapping Sounds

Months ago I declared that, in time, Heron House would be "haunted." Not by ghosts so much as dimensional things that slip into a reality that will be more flexible around where I live due to my semi-regular visits from aliens. Their technology seems to create side-effects that produce poltergeist-like phenomena.

Maybe it's all started sooner than expected?

I'm not sure, but in the last week or so, I've begun to notice small, cat-sized, shadowy shapes moving around sometimes in the house. I attribute it to my close-up eyesight getting worse (requiring stronger reading glasses) and my brain just interpreting what it can't "get" as somehow cats, because most weird things that move around me in my life ARE cats slinking in and out of sight.

Last night, I was alone in the house with just the cats, as Cat was off to a gaming party and I was just too exhausted to join her. I kept swearing I saw some shadowy amorphous shapes around 3 feet long by a foot wide just going around corners or what have you. A couple of times, I looked straight on at something see-through that obviously moved as I watched. Was it floaters in my eyes? Was it the glasses I wore causing reflections? (I still get startled by that effect sometimes.) Couldn't tell for sure, so I shrugged it off.

Then, last night, something odd happened that went beyond those shadows.

I kept hearing a strange, snapping type of noise-- like the sound of a breaker switch being thrown. That loud "THWACK" kind of sound that could be a small bundle of metal rods being struck against maybe plastic. "SMACK!" I heard it several times and looked over and tilted my head. I figured "cats" because that's what weird sounds are almost 100% of the time, let alone in a household with 4 of them!

But then I saw all 4 cats were with me in the room, waiting semi-patiently to be fed. Hmmmm! As I realized this, the snapping noises continued. Quite bizarre.

I was doing laundry. Was it something in the dryer smacking around? The sounds were clearly coming from the top of the stairs to the rec room, right by the laundry room. I got up to investigate. The sounds stopped as soon as I moved a few feet towards the source of sound. That alone made me wonder more. Still, I went and checked and couldn't figure it out, and while I was looking, no more snaps.

So I checked the dryer, got my clothes out, folded them and put them away in silence, then turned off the breaker to the dryer. (We're extra cautious with it due to some issues we had checked by an electrician.) I sat down and went back to watching a show.

The snaps started up again. This time I sat and listened and moved my head around from my chair. Definitely upstairs. I got up again, and managed to get about 10 feet before they stopped that time. I was able to discern that the sounds were popping up from different locations upstairs in the rec room. How can such an obvious, very specific sound MOVE from one area to another like that? Then it stopped after I had taken a few steps.

NOW I was suspicious!

All told, the snapping noises went off 5 times at least during the evening-- and stopped once I got up to investigate, but would continue for up to 10 minutes non-stop if I remained in my chair. It seemed clear the noises were intelligently responding to my movement towards them.

Cat came home from her game and things went quiet, and I didn't even mention it. I rather prefer to have people independently notice what I do, so I know it's not just me.

I didn't have to wait long. I got 2 witnesses the very next day!

This evening, Cat and Tess and I were all hanging out in the rec room in the gaming area having ourselves a Roomie Meet. We went over several issues, and I got a chance to explain my worries about Tess avoiding confrontation and making situations worse. We were just finishing up when...

Cat suddenly interrupted me, saying, "What was that thing by the wood stove?" We asked her what she meant.

She kept staring and said, "I thought it was a cat at first, but it was a shadow. There was obvious movement. It crawled down off the small wood pile to the floor. I was looking right at it."

We all tried to make the shadow she saw, but the angle of light was wrong for it. And the cats were all accounted for.

That's when I made a confession. I had been seeing weird, cat-sized shadows for a few days at least and was wondering if it was my eyes or something. Just as I said this, some loud SNAP, SMACK, THWACK noises started going off downstairs in the keeping area (which is where I was last night when I heard the noises in the rec room!)

"Oh," I said, "and last night I started hearing these snapping sounds-- only then I heard them up here."

We all looked at each other. Then we got up to go find the sounds. They stopped after we went a few feet. We looked, found nothing, and returned to our seats. And I told them about the sounds I'd been hearing.

AND they started up a second time! This time we all three got up and started checking more thoroughly. The laundry room was silent, the sounds were coming from the kitchen or keeping area next to it FOR SURE. Then Cat said she saw another shadow on the gas fireplace in the keeping room. It was just before sunset, so there was daylight around. It wasn't a dark, scary thing going on. We heard a couple more sounds as we entered the area-- it sounded like it was from the corner tower room. AND it was coming from different areas of it, just as the night before but upstairs. An odd sound that moved around?


Cat checked the electric tea kettle, which makes a "snick" sound when the auto heater goes off. It was off. We checked the fireplace and nothing was amiss there. We quickly ran out of "rational explanations."

There were no more snapping noises after that. But now everyone was alerted that there was something odd going on. I looked at my roomies and said, "I told you this is a thing for me. I just wasn't expecting it so soon! It took a  year and half for anything to get freaky at the Ghost Lake house, aside from my bed vibrating and thumping."

Here we go again--?

May. 7th, 2018


Moved Again! Looks Like, But Is NOT, A Haunted House

Just an update for my paranormal blog!

Wanted readers to know its been very quiet for the most part, and I've been super busy due to helping out during a friend's mother's illness and death. Then we had to scramble to find another house. Which is now being moved into and made cozy (this is a large house and will take awhile to settle into.)

Here are some pics: Heron Hold, as we're calling it, is a newer take on the Victorian stye, built a little over 20 years ago. But--! It LOOKS like the quintessential haunted house, doesn't it?

I got to meet the previous owners who had it built, and they're really sweet and have had zero issues. I can confirm there is nothing at all paranormal about this place.


I've moved over and over again throughout my life-- over 30 times for certain. I've moved 3 times in the last 4 years. However--!  What seems to happen is that I move to a place, and, over time, as I get visited by some Other intelligence, rips in space/time, or at least weakenings in our reality, occur, and then where I live starts to get fae or poltergeist activity. It seems to take at least 3 years. One place I lived for several years in Tigard, Oregon, had 2 permanent "portals" where odd things, including spirits of the dead, could and would 'pop' through.

Here's the thing. I'm hoping to never move again. I plan to be here for at least another 25 years. I'm in my dream house with my best friend. We're like sisters and we get along very well. This will be my life's project on some level, improving and maintaining a beautiful home on several acres of land.

Though things are not as active for me after my 30's, I still get visits and therefore the potential for dimensional rifts remains possible. To begin with, I want it stated clearly that I moved to a nice "clear" home with great vibes, very calm, and ZERO SPIRIT OR FAE ACTIVITY (I use "fae" in the old way, as elementals or non-human spirits that cause poltergeistic activity.) This is a great home and everything here is even better than most homes, because the people who were in it before us were awesome, HAPPY people who loved one another and built this house as a lifelong dream, etc. (They only left because they're elderly and want to be with family elsewhere.)

My prediction: It may take 4 or 5 years, but I bet this place becomes haunted or effected, simply because I'm living in it! I could be wrong, but I think starting with a very blank, if positive, slate is a great test for my hypothesis!

So there is my official statement. I live in a home that looks like it could be creepy, but it is not at all weird spiritually or magickally.

Once we're settled in here, my time opens up and I'll be resuming my memoirs of past paranormal experiences. My apologies for things being so crazy in the last 3 years. It appears chaos will soon be a thing of my past. We're settling in and creating a cozy nest and I'm very happy and life is really good right now and looks to be so for at least a while.

See everyone soon!

Mar. 30th, 2018


LOUD Intruder This Morning


I awoke with a start. It was just after 5am (I checked my clock) and it sounded like Cat was going into the garage from the daylight basement downstairs and allowing the weighted door to slam shut! I was annoyed. She's usually more careful not to wake me when she's up early (as she is often up by 4:30am and I sleep in 'til 8am) so I was a little worried.

Oddly, I was also thinking about aliens suddenly, even though I had woken from a very prosaic dream. I was just suddenly thinking about past contact with aliens, not connecting anything going on with them at all, even remotely. But... it was odd given what happened next.

I heard the rooster start freaking out. Because we live in the 'burbs, the rooster is taken into the garage every evening and then allowed out into the yard and coop during the day. He will often crow at 5am anyway, but having Cat go into the garage and turn on the light makes him crow a little more often, because-- people up! Day starting! More light and activity! Good morning!

But this was different. Her rooster was crowing non-stop in a frantic way that was unlike him. Roosters know their "tribe"-- a good rooster doesn't make too much of a fuss when the humans and animals familiar to him are around. But when strange people or pets or bigger animals come around, they crow louder and many times in succession.

So-- the rooster was acting like Cat was a stranger. That was weird. But as the downstairs door to the garage slammed shut again, I sat up. The rooster was completely losing his shit! Not even like a "Stranger Danger" call-- more like he was scared out of his tiny avian mind!

There was stomping I could hear going on and off, like you could hear it on the linoleum but not the carpeted areas so much. I was thinking that Cat was angry. There was a tone to the sounds. I started wondering if I should check things out. Maybe something went wrong when she started work from home or something? The rooster quieted a little.

More stomping in the downstairs laundry area and then the door opened and BLAM!-- slammed shut again! This was so stark that all 3 times that door slammed shut, it pretty much shook the house!

Cue the freaking out rooster-- like whoever it was who had just been stomping around downstairs had once more entered the basement.

But then, it all went quiet. The rooster stopped crowing completely for almost 20 minutes.

I felt bad for Cat, who I assumed was in the garage? I got out of bed. I was going to have to talk to her about not making that kind of noise so early. She's been so stressed out, I'd have to be direct, but kind, about it. But I needed my freaking sleep! Like-- BADLY.

I didn't hear her come back in or come up the stairs, but I didn't think much of it, only that I felt pretty banged up and in pain myself. The noise and fuss and angry tone of the careless noise-making disturbed me too much to go back to sleep. I was up for the day.

A half hour later, Cat sleepily came into my den room. Her mouth guard was still in, and her little nightcap was on. She had JUST awakened and came to check on me because I was up so early. She was blinking sleepily.

Now I was confused.

I asked her if she was okay--? Why was she stomping around downstairs earlier?

Now Cat was confused. She had not yet been downstairs...!

We looked at each other and then hurried downstairs. All the doors were locked from the inside. Nothing was missing. The rooster crowed again at the activity, and he actually sounded a little hoarse! (Which takes a lot for a rooster...)

Of course, I started thinking about it. The person ended up in the garage, but then-- never came out of it. There is no door except the big garage door that opens for cars to leave the garage by in this house. The person making all the noise just... vanished?

Which is not that weird in my experience. "Visitors" will do that!

Cat really is more considerate than that, normally, and it obviously wasn't her. I realized that, in addition, whoever it was sounded like a large man wearing boots or something. Cat wears those soft-soled shoes with the individual toes. You can't STOMP in those! Let alone in her 5-toed slippers she wears around the house! It could not have been her. It doesn't appear to be a normal human intruder, so I tend to conclude it was one of the Others.

I am a little surprised at the apparently DELIBERATE noise making, though! It is as if they were trying to wake me up. But why? My cat was snuggled next to me and I had been dreaming, so I don't think I was returned from an abduction. It seems like it was a visit to check things out? I can only speculate, but could they see that a bunch of stuff is missing from being packed? Do they know I'll be moving again? Why should they care? They can follow me anywhere... although I'll be close to several navy bases and ports and research facilities...! But I don't recall telling anyone that or having discussions or anything about such topics. I honestly have had nothing unusual going on since that little stint that occurred when I first left my marital home and came to the Ghost Lake house and recalled talking to some young blond guy.

Regardless-- it appears I was prematurely awakened by something not normal, and the last few years, these things tend to happen to me in the spring season. I guess I need to step up my game...

I wish I knew what the hell was going on. Why does it start? Why does it end? What triggers the little "flaps"? Will this be a one-off oddity, or the beginning of another period of anomalous activity?

Just in time, too. Right as I'm about to move!

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