Unexplained Bruising & Rage

Something happened the night of the 4th. That's the only time period I can't account for in this...

I got dressed this morning and didn't pay attention, so I missed it until I got UNDRESSED this evening for bed.

I found bruises on my upper left thigh in the front. Multiple finger-sized bruises. No where else on my body. And there is NO reason for them. I haven't gone anywhere or done anything that could explain them.

I'm getting better at this. I took a pic as soon as I saw this (blackened area for privacy reasons because it's by my pubis):

The photo doesn't do it justice though. These bruises are deep and purple and over a 6 inch by 8 inch area!

I went over and over and OVER my memory, trying to recall a time when I could have hurt myself-- but there's nothing there!

And I feel angry about it. Like... it's hard to describe. Just when I think it's over-- some shit like this pops out of nowhere.

To be blunt, I don't know what this is. Somehow, overnight, like magic, I got these bruises. Except it wasn't magic-- it was something physical that touched me too harshly.

The night of the 4th I was scared to go to sleep. I put it off until past 1 am. I slept fitfully. Then I got up early, all nervous.

Related to this? Not? I don't know. I just know I'm documenting it because I promised myself I would-- no matter how bad it makes me feel or how foolish, or confused, or angry.

UPDATE: I went around the house looking for counters and various objects I could possible have run into and not recalled... but nothing matched. Everything I found was either too tall or too short to explain the bruising. I even tried to hit myself on the right side to match it with wild gestures-- and I couldn't reproduce a single bruise! Apparently, that part of my body is not very easily bruised at all. So... I'm out of other explanations.

The Wan Woman Ghost Sighting In Cedar Cove

Seeing ghosts just here and there, now and then, is a fairly common part of my life. I generally see them when I'm out and about maybe once or twice a year. Not a LOT, but often enough to know that ghosts aren't that rare, really. If I live in a haunted house-- which was pretty normal out in Ohio-- then I see them much more often of course.

Today I saw my first Cedar Cove ghost!

She was in full color, 3-dimensional, and she was staring hard right at me as Sleep and I passed her in his car on our way to town. I just thought she was a very unhappy woman when I saw her for those few seconds. She looked to be in her 30s and had dirty blonde hair hanging lank and uneven to her shoulders, with sallow skin, dark rings and bags around her eyes, and she was too slender. I didn't really notice her clothes, but I got an impression of a print blouse maybe?

Anyway, she was standing on the porch of a house, almost leaning on the post by the steps down to the path and driveway. She was looking at me when I saw her and we made eye contact and I could tell she saw me. But she didn't move or blink. I noted her sickly appearance and wondered if she was on drugs or physically ill from some other issue. I sympathized with her, though. I could tell she was suffering and resigned to pain-- not a good place to be.

As we passed her, I turned my head to stare at her. She did not turn her head to look at me, but remained staring out towards the south. I realized she was fading out, and I could see through her and then she was gone. She just faded out of reality.

I realized then I had made brief eye contact with a dead woman. She looked a little like Chloe Sevigny:

The house was a NICE one, on the shoreline with access to it's own dock onto the Sound. There are tall trees near it and neighbor's houses close by as well. The scenario did not look haunted at all. All the same, I felt a little guilty for driving on and leaving her there, all desolate.

But she was there. I saw her long enough to know my eyes weren't fooling me or anything. I wonder if she felt me coming? Or was it pure coincidence that I happened along when she was manifesting and looking in the right direction?

Regardless, I will be watching that area again every time I pass that house for a long time to come. Maybe I'll see the Wan Woman again.

Strange Poltergiest Effects Related To Curse

[The following entry is taken from events in my life over the last 9 months in which it seems my roomie Tess's boyfriend Oliver got cursed by his Filipina stepmother (in her early 30s whereas his dad is in his 70s-- so ew!). She wants to inherit the small, plain little house her husband owns and resents the idea of sharing apparently! Filipino folk magick is called "Kulam" and it is similar to voodoo in many ways. Anyways, the curse was to isolate him so anyone who helps Oliver could also be cursed... I know it sound ridiculous, but there was something odd going on. A series of bad luck "coincidences" that followed a clear pattern was what led me to believe a curse was going on. I am a witch, it's not like I haven't run into one before. However--! THIS case was not like anything I'd experienced. I have been working on dealing with it for some months, and I keep upping the ante to get this bitch's crap to stop.]

I got up this morning, just smacking my lips and letting cats out and such-like, and I picked up a book on... well... dark magick retribution shall we say? Cat brought it down so we could go over some recipes/spells and I was just pondering what we had to deal with soon when I heard a strange noise...

It sounded like bizzzz-izzzz-izzzz-izzzz. I thought it was some sort of rotating, whirring thing. Confused, I stepped towards the middle of the house from the nook area I was in, trying to get closer to what I heard. I was at the stairs going up to the "Salon" or recreation room when I heard the same strange sound again! This time I bounded up the stairs to find nothing amiss and no one around and no cats at all.

What in the ever-loving FUCK!?

The sound came from the windows on the south side of the room, and so I went up to examine them. Then it hit me! The sound! Every morning I tend to go upstairs to open the blinds and they make a whizzing sound! I checked and that was the sound. Loud and clear, too.

Except... the blinds were in the same position I left them in yesterday. Wide open. I didn't need to open them because Cat didn't close them for the night like she often does, much to my annoyance sometimes. The sound I heard was clear, repeated, and obviously from this particular activity-- but no one was doing the activity.  I mean, it was crazy obvious that the sound could not have been happening in reality. Not even from blinds spontaneously falling down to close-- as they were all open. The room was wide open without places for a prankster to hide, and both my roomies were at work in any event. It was clearly an uncanny happening.

What was I doing before the impossible sounds hit...? Oh, yeah! Looking at a magick book!

Cue me eying reality sideways---> HERE.

I felt no sense of threat, but just the action of picking up a magick book caused (maybe) something odd to happen. It wasn't from a spirit or intelligent intermediary, like a demon or elemental or what-not. It seemed like a mechanism was tripped, magickally speaking that is. There was no sense of threat from these dark moon hi-jinks nearly every dark moon for nearly a year. No sense of a "mind." So these happenings aren't warnings or anything.

Rather, they seemed to be an indication of a very powerful pulling on the threads of Fate or Reality itself. Since I'm using magick on magick, the triggered time period of hexing (the dark moon day plus 2 to 3 days on either side of it) seems to bring the magickal mechanism "alive" like a computer program. It then reacts to anything under it's paradigm-- anything that could help Oliver gets the program's attention. And magick must get special attention because only magick can stop the program. It has a built in defense apparently!

I'm alarmed, but more than that...?

I'm fucking impressed! That's some seriously innovative mojo-maneuvering, you know? I don't know who this guy is who gets paid to curse people, but he's fucking TALENTED. Damn, dude! (Readings showed it was an older male Filipino.)

Tonight, as we were discussing the purchases Cat made at a magick shop (lots of herbs, mainly) and going over plans for the next 5 days or so, the electricity started buzzing-- but only in the kitchen where we were talking. The rest of the house was normal! We checked everything and no prosaic explanation could be found. So then we went back to our planning session-- and the electric buzzed, then went off and back on by itself and only in the kitchen again. We only had 2 lights on-- nothing else. The air conditioning was even on hold at this time. The cause and effect seemed clear.

Cue me looking sideways at reality once more---> HERE.

We immediately burned pinon pine incense in the area and the rooms adjacent and the weird electrical interference stopped completely and never came back the rest of the day. We were able to finish our discussion and make plans for tomorrow "magickally unmolested" as it were.

Phantom sounds and electrical anomalies aren't symbolic of anything, clearly. It was only their timing in relation to magickal planning (not even magickal WORK, note) that linked the strange events to the Kulam curse to begin with.

The abnormal tweaking of reality, since it's not from a consciousness (as from an attack using an intermediary like a spirit) means that the focus is powerful AND we're basically witnessing the side effects of that magickal focus. Hearing phantom sounds from the recent past and electrical interference are all signs of that reality being tweaked from sideways.

We're experiencing side-effects of the "computer program" magick reacting to our magickal intentions, basically. I suppose a mind-reading automatic magick spell isn't much more remarkable than the rest already, right? [Now I have an image of bugs bunny after seeing the monster coming to mind...]

Don't get me wrong, I fucking hate this shit. Broken bones (3 cases of broken bones now, including a new one last month's dark moon) and car accidents with deer (4 cases now) and car mechanical failures (4 cars as of this month) and being kicked out of or forced to flee home (Oliver 3 times and 7 other people who took Oliver in 1 time-- every person who took him in lost their own home within 2 months) lost jobs and just general bad luck -- are really terrible things to deal with!

However-- the curiosity in me is way stronger than my fear. I'm learning a LOT from this strange case. I've never had to deal with a hex so persistent and powerful and... clever before. Someone has crafted a curse requiring several levels of focus, and kept it up month after month after month. This guy does magick for a living as he has no other money-making opportunities. That's what the reading said. It's his full-time job! And he puts his all into it, I'll give him that.

So-- I respect the guy and all, but... I still have to do everything I can to smack a bitch up! He's hurting innocent people who have nothing to do with a greedy's woman's desire to inherit a small house and tiny bit of money.

Luckily, for my side-- dark magick has built-in weaknesses, mainly that they tweak reality away from it's ordained course and are unjust even beyond karma or chance. That leaves a gulf very wide for the hex-sender to fall into. You just need to give them a gentle push and down they go! I simply had to find a way around this automatic program with it's built-in self-defense mechanism, and I had to study Kulam for months (and info on it is VERY limited!) to figure out how to do it.


But it's going to be worth it.

Nope-- Just An Earthquake

I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to the sensation of my bed shaking. Not a lot, but vibrating noticeably, like a train passing by.


But I put my fingertips to the wall over my bed to check, like I always do, and...

...the walls were shaking too!

It was an earthquake. About 3 pts on the Richter Scale where I live, apparently, but 4 point something up in Everett, WA.

So-- no aliens.

Sighing in relief, I rolled over and went right back to sleep.

2 Lives Ago - A Deadly Stalker Near the Shore

Some time ago I wrote about memories of what I believe to be a past life. I think I died in World War I, also called "The Great War" but really-- what's so great about war?

(When I find the link, I'll post it.)

It is one of my most visited posts, even if you discount the bots that do their thing on that and other popular posts. I've even been contacted by a reincarnation society of people who have memories of World War I specifically! I didn't know such a thing existed. Anyway, apparently, they use my story quite extensively as an example of what sorts of memories people can have.

I died in that war, in the 1910s, the "Edwardian" era, and I have a great nostalgia for that time period. I was British, upper class, from a small, rural area-- I'm going to say near Scotland, due to several reasons, not least of which I feel drawn toward the hills of northern England.

I was a man, a smoker, left-handed but taught to use my right for several things, so a little ambidextrous (which I still am to this day-- my right side has pain issues and I quickly switched to throwing, catching, and even using a mouse with my left more easily than my right). I was used to being respected and listened to, so this life I feel out of sorts being a working class woman who has never been taken seriously in that natural way I came to expect back then. I love the art and clothing styles and pop culture of that time. Lots of things come from that.

When I was a child and teen, I also had dreams of what I believe to be the life before THAT life, and that is what I'm going to write about today. I feel ready now.

It's hard to write about because it was ultimately so damnably sad in the end...

I remember being a woman in the mid-Victorian era, this time on the Northeastern shore of the United States, though possibly an island or the Southeastern shore of Canada. That part isn't so clear. Once again, I have a love of the Victorian era and it's styles and customs, and for the lovely seashores to be found along Maine, for instance. Lighthouses and windy, grassy areas overlooking an ocean tamer than the Pacific I know here are a part of these memories.

I don't remember my childhood in that life, only a bit about my teen years and later.

In the dream, which I had several times, each time waking up in utter desolation-- I was contentedly married to a sweet, gentle man. We had a medium-sized but lovely and distinguished home in a rural community, not on the beach, but still where we could see the ocean if we looked out certain windows of our home.

I loved books. I may have taught school in my youth. My husband was either a college librarian or a professor. He had a job working in academia, which he loved and found challenging, and I enjoyed talking about his day with him when he came home in the evenings. We led a quiet life and I was SO happy there. I had plans. So many plans for myself and my family. I loved to sit in a chair on our porch, looking towards the sea, and read and daydream.

My life had not always been easy. I escaped from a suitor who today would be called a violent stalker. He had done something while we dated when I was years younger that scared me so badly I left my home town to stay with friends or relatives in another place. And there, I met the man who became my husband and then he got a position even further away and I thought I would not be bothered again by my stalker.

The last week of my life, I went to some social function in the town. A celebration with people dressed up and both inside and outside buildings was going on and I had a servant taking care of my infant son. It was the first time I'd really gone out since giving birth, and I was happy to get back to my social life. I saw friends and spoke with the wives of other men at the college where my husband worked. Everything seemed wonderful...

... and then I saw someone from my past.

I thought I saw a man who looked like an older version of the guy who dated and terrorized me years before. I stared at him and at one point he turned and looked right at me, and I was convinced it was him. My heart fell to my feet in fear. But then he turned and continued talking to someone by him in a jovial way and I decided I was mistaken. How could my stalker have found me here and now? It was impossible, wasn't it? Still, I asked around-- no one seemed to know who he was and why was I asking? He looked like someone I knew.

It was a warm evening and so I walked home with my husband from the function. I laughed and told him that I thought I saw that horrible guy from my past-- thank goodness it couldn't be him! Still, my husband picked up on my nervousness and needed to reassure me it was surely a case of someone who merely looked like him.

Normally, my husband was home in the evenings as well as a servant or two who helped around the house and with child care. However, a few days after the town celebration, there was another event just for my husband. Was he at his club? Was it a college thing? I don't recall. But he wouldn't be home until after dark, which was unusual. The servants were also gone for some reason.

I wasn't worried. I got ready for bed like normal and settled my infant son to sleep. All seemed well.

Until I heard a crash!

It was glass, probably a window or maybe from a door with glass in it? I awoke with a start, but was befuddled from sleep for a couple of minutes. The sound woke my baby, and he screamed. I got up to find out what was going on, but fear was mounting. Something felt wrong.

Then suddenly, my son's screams were cut off. There was an awful gurgling sound that went with it. By this time I was nearly to my bedroom door, and I heard some strange shuffling sounds near-by. I didn't call out. I had a terrible feeling it was my stalker. I tried to believe otherwise, but I couldn't.

I padded in bare feet to the nursery, deep dread in my heart. All was silent as I reached the crib, and I reached down to take my son in my arms. But I floundered in confusion for a second when I touched hot wetness and odd soft shapes where my baby should have been.

Then my doubt was gone. I knew my stalker had found me and killed my baby. He had tracked me down somehow. Why didn't I believe myself and take precautions? How could I have been so stupid?

My last thoughts before I was grabbed roughly from behind were of my beloved husband. He would come home to his wife and child dead by violence. He might even be falsely accused of the act! I had kept my sordid past a secret from my new friends and neighbors alike. Only my husband knew I had seen a man who looked like a threat from my past.

I don't actually know how I died, by bludgeoning or stabbing or what. It was like I "gave up" after finding my baby dead and I let go within seconds of that. Victorian ladies didn't have much of a chance of fighting back. None of us were in shape to face an attacker, let alone an armed one who came from behind us in the dark!

What haunts me is the sadness of a good life lost to an evil man. And of the innocent baby who died with me. And the innocent man who would find us and face accusations. For myself as well, because I had finally found peace and happiness, and it was all ruined. All because the man who killed me was affronted that I didn't love him back-- he scared the shit out of me almost from the time I met him. Now I know with darned good reason.

I can understand much of my character now from what I experienced then, of course. From a love of books and seashores to the pursuit of a lovely rural town full of mostly friendly people. I remember the layout of part of the home-- where the bedrooms were for sure. I've also hated and avoided "bad boys" that many girls are attracted to (Gerick was too nervous and chatty to trigger any red flags.)

I've looked for New England cold cases that match and have yet to find any. Or solved cases for that matter. I'm not sure the place and exact time, let alone anything like a NAME that would help. It was 1870s to 1880s in that life. Given that I was around 20 in a new body by 1915 or so in my next life, that means I had to be born around 1895 for that- which definitely puts a limit on when I could have died in the life before. It's also odd that I jumped from one life to another so quickly. Maybe people murdered young do that if they don't become ghosts? I have no idea, really.

I try to take the happier parts of those lives taken too young and apply them to my life now. The energy and planning and anticipation and enthusiasm I had in both lives before murder or war still linger just a little. The feeling of being in those eras and the belief in the future people had then... I don't want to give those up. But I know I've struggled with some past baggage from both lives-- or I wouldn't have them as issues now, would I? But fear of attack at night makes sense given that. And a fear of stupid people getting me killed from the war life makes sense too.

Death is not the end of our woes it would seem.

"Dragon Fear"- A Night of Feeling Watched & Exposed

Last week, I had a devil of a time settling down to sleep. I should respect a change like that to my quiet routine that normally leads to deep and refreshing sleep with less fatigue issues and so on. I have the right medications and supplements to make decent sleep a normal thing. Therefore, when insomnia pops out of nowhere, perhaps I should pay more attention.

For a good 5 days in a row, I couldn't sleep without taking cannabis or anti-histamines. Both make me wake up groggy and muddy headed for hours the next day, so I avoid them if possible. But I was desperate by 2 or 3 in the morning for several nights in a row!

Maybe something was happening to me unawares...

I got my possible clue when something occurred out of the blue last night.

I was finishing watching a dull show before bed (which I often do.) In this case, it was Hallmark's "The Good Witch" which is an insipid series but perfect for non-triggering drama before sleep. In the middle of the episode, I started feeling watched.

We don't have all our curtains or shades yet downstairs. It's a low priority given that we're surrounded by trees and brush that render our property hard to see except from one angle on the road-- which isn't that busy. Our neighbor can see us in our kitchen if she's outside on one spot on her porch, otherwise, no one can see anything, really. However, if a person walked onto the property, they'd have free views through many windows.

Well, I suddenly felt as though someone was staring at me through the windows! It was a STRONG feeling, completely unbidden, that made no sense. I had no cannabis or anything else that could cause paranoia that night or earlier in the day or the night before for that matter. So when I got a massive case of The Dreads on top of an awareness of Presence, I started to wonder if something was up...

The Greys project a telepathic aura of Presence that invokes fear in people. Maybe it's a defense mechanism they use on purpose, or maybe they can't help projecting that Presence, but it's a distinctive feeling. My ex-husband called it "Dragon Fear" after a concept from a D & D based set of fantasy books in which the appearance of a dragon caused fear so great in humans that they were often rendered paralyzed. I think it's a great term for it myself, obviously-- because it helps explain to non-abductees what it feels like.

Meanwhile, I couldn't help noticing that all the night sounds and activity went away. In true Oz Factor fashion, the world contracted and the atmosphere grew THICK. For 2 hours straight on a Friday night of a holiday weekend, we had ZERO traffic! This is not common. Even for a rural road, we are the only way to get certain places and we have at least 5 cars an hour early at night-- and more like 30 or so Friday and Saturday nights during tourist season. Zero was not normal by a long shot-- and yet--? No cars. This observation clenched my stomach and increased my uneasiness.

It started around 10:30 which is when I generally get ready for bed. I stayed up due to the feeling of being watched until 12:30-- and the feeling stayed, and if anything, it intensified. If I could walk, I'd go outside with a flashlight and some pepper spray and walk the grounds. I see animals all the time, including predators, around at night and never have that intensely watched feeling like that, EVER. This was different-- but familiar. I've felt it before and it always sent me into an absolute PANIC.

But I didn't panic. Not this time, and not the last few times possibly alien-induced phenomena has occurred. That's an achievement for sure! I've really been working to stay calm and yet alert at these times.

I did. My heart was beating a little fast, and I was very alert and aware-- but I didn't escalate that bodily trigger into anything truly fear inducing.

As I went to my bedroom and got ready for bed, the feeling escalated even more, and I felt confrontation was imminent and texted an abductee buddy. I was likely to make a phone call, as I've promised myself to do if it seems things are going down. "Here we go..." I thought.

But then, over about 5 minutes, the Presence just... dissipated. My buddy texted back, a coyote howled several times near-by, and a couple of cars finally passed on our street! The noise and LIFE returned as the paranoid feeling vanished. This is also how things have returned to normal in the past. Everything stops and it's like all of reality is under a spell. Every human in the area except myself goes into deep sleep mode and cannot be awakened. That's why having an abductee buddy who doesn't live in my area is essential-- they are never under the same spell at the same time. It's a truly localized phenomenon.

And I was up another hour, breathing a sigh of relief, as things stayed calm and normal and fine, and I then went to sleep without any issues.

Was it a practice run? Was I just being watched for some reason? Or did coincidence, bodily sensations, and paranoia just manifest spontaneously together? I know a die-hard materialist would conclude the latter, but they don't have my set of experiences with which to judge such things. I've learned to respect reality as it comes to me, not impose my expectations upon it like a godling.

I've had no odd dreams nor bed-shaking to alert me to possible visitations, so I'm not sure what to make of this, but being a bit more aware of possible goings-on seems prudent for a few weeks.

"What. Are. We. Doing. Today. Gerick." (Summer '94)

Being the lover or spouse of an abductee can cause short periods of extreme shock, even if you're an abductee yourself. Case in point:

One summer, Gerick and I, sharing a townhouse with my mother and sister while I worked and Gerick searched for a job, were sleeping in one late morning. It was a weekday, and both my mother and sister were working all day, but I wasn't scheduled. This is important to know for this report!

I was having a strange suspended sleep feeling. It's so subtle that only my own paranoia and over-sensitivity would even have made note of this feeling, but I had identified a strange sensation of feeling "held" in sleep so I could not wake up. I didn't know if it was my brain not working (or -- working?) but I was in that place again. I could feel the bed, but not hear anything or see the sunshine streaming into our room. It wasn't frightening though. It was rather nice, kind of like a deep, meditative trance state without the astral cross-over. There was also a slight memory of just having had a quick conversation with someone, but I was blissfully unworried about the matter now.

The next thing I know, Gerick is jumping off the bed next to me, screaming, "AAAAAAAH! Lucy! LUCY WAKE THE FUCK UP! Oh my gawd! Fuck! FUCK!" -- and I slowly sort of stretched out of sleep, blinking in confusion.

Gerick was standing next to the bed on his side (the left, if you're curious) and staring at me with wide, frantic eyes, sort of half-bouncing from foot to foot in an obvious panic state with one hand on his chest, and the other in his hair!

I still couldn't summon any alarm, which was not normal for me at that time. I was in full-on OTSD (or what I call ONGOING Traumatic Stress Syndrome) from frequent abductions since my early teens, and I would jump out of bed at the slightest noise. Lack of sleep was an ongoing issue of course-- point being I was not in my normal "easy to freak out" mode.

.................. "What...?" I asked in confusion.

"Lucy! They were just here! RIGHT HERE! JUST NOW!"

"Uh... the aliens?" I blinked at him.

"YES!! JESUS FUCK!!" he screamed and morphed his half-dance into pacing around the bed, all the time looking at me like I had grown 2 heads.

Then he told me how HE woke that morning. I include it because it involved me and it turned out I witnessed the visit in a subtle way after all...

Gerick and I could share telepathic conversations if we were both very relaxed and had recently been around aliens. We sometimes did this while both of us were dreaming, messing up one another's dreams and waking up to actual arguments over the resulting confusion. Most often, though, we'd do this right after waking up (without any alarms) and felt too lazy to open our mouths and vibrate our vocal cords. I remind readers of this now, because it is pertinent to what happened. It started off as if we were in the midst of a telepathic early morning conversation. (Generally happened a few times a year-- so not common, but not unfamiliar to either of us by 1994.)

Gerick woke up to my telepathic voice (which oddly sounds very much like we do verbally-- due to how we remember sounding while talking, I imagine) asking him questions. He was very much enjoying sleeping in, so he resisted, telling my voice to leave him alone to sleep.

My voice was relentless, and this pissed him off. Getting angry woke Gerick up.

As he awoke, he realized that my telepathic voice didn't "sound" right. It sounded stilted, almost robotic. The voice was asking him about plans for the day, "What. Time. Are. We. Getting. Up. Today. Gerick?" and then, "What. Are. We. Doing. Today." Gerick was still annoyed, but he was also curious as to why the hell I was speaking in such an odd way. The emotional flavor and sound tonalities (because our telepathic exchanges were always like talking aloud, but kept in our heads, like listening to earphones or something) were entirely missing.

He opened his eyes and rolled over to ask me what the hell was wrong with me and to tell me out loud to please go back to sleep!

But what he saw in that bright, sunny room at around 10 am or so shattered his world in all of a second.

A Grey alien was floating in the air about 3 to 4 inches above me, prostrate and looking down at my face!

He was so shocked that he hesitated to act for a second, just taking in this unbelievable sight! The being was full color and 3-dimensional and very solidly physical. It cast a shadow and Gerick could see the light between the top of the covers over me and the being that was laying down and floating above me. It had it's face over my face, within a couple of inches of my eyes, and my eyes were open. When the aliens do THAT, they're "delving" or getting into your head, so this thing was plugged into my brain in a very up close and personal way. The being was light gray, almost white, but I didn't write down if Gerick said it had all-black eyes or was wearing clothes or appeared naked, so those details are lost. However, I had drawn them before, and Gerick said it looked exactly like my drawing of a slightly higher-up Escort Grey, around 4 feet tall. 'His" greys looked a little different, though, so he knew this guy was batting for 'my' team.

In that second of shock, 'my' grey guy reacted quickly. He reached over and touched the side of Gerick's head (around the temple) very gently, once... twice... three times.

Gerick reported that the feel of the tips of the fingers was tacky-- like scotch tape, to the point he felt his skin lift a little each time the grey pulled it's fingers away. In addition, with each touch, Gerick's entire body went into a deeper and deeper relaxation mode. Touch 1-- and he lost the tension in his body. Touch 2-- and he felt his consciousness sort of 'falling.' By the final touch, he went into a light stage of sleep.

I could speculate all over the place here. A TOUCH from those fingers can make a person unconscious? Built in device, maybe from a body suit? Chemical reactant just on the skin? I'm familiar with the eyes-to-eyes induced sleep, but by finger touch? I've since heard of this from other sources, but I wonder about it for sure. The sticky fingers thing is well reported. Gerick wondered if there were suction cups on the tips of it's fingers (and again, there are reports of this-- but I have yet to notice this myself.)

So-- a few scant seconds later, and the mental influence of this grey vanished suddenly. Gerick abruptly returned to his original state of massive alarm, which is when he jumped out of bed and started screaming, thus waking ME up.

We quickly realized that the alien was using my mental voice to ask Gerick questions in English-- but it did so clumsily, as if unfamiliar with vocal inflections, and that very weirdness was why Gerick came to in the middle of the process. Why those questions? Because my greys wanted to either take me or both of us, and they needed to know if we'd be missed or realize we had missing time. The grey fucked up, and... Gerick got to be a very uncomfortable close witness to one of 'my' group!

He said, "I already knew you were an abductee, but if I had the slightest doubt at all, that's erased it completely!" He was shocked to have the reality of this on a bright and sunny day right in the supposed sanctuary of our bedroom, perhaps because it had been a while since he'd worked directly with greys himself. He had been interacting with human-looking races (or hybrids) since his late teens while I was active with greys primarily well into my 30s.

While we talked, the odd form of suspended sleep I was experiencing earlier suddenly made sense. Also, I had often believed that my greys sometimes floated prostrate above me, but now I had proof my suspicion was correct. More than that, the abrupt alien departure and Gerick's stimulating reactions knocked me out of my suspended and overly-relaxed state...

I remembered a conversation I had just had before that! Someone was in my head, asking me about our plans for the day. I honestly didn't have any, but I wasn't sure what Gerick would be doing. I told the Presence in my head to "ask Gerick" about that! Further, I recalled waking myself up by talking aloud and saying, "Ask my boyfriend!" The memory wasn't sufficiently suppressed, given the grey's emergency exit-- so I got back that tiny bit. It was over me because it asked me first, and then tried to use me to ask Gerick indirectly-- and failed spectacularly.

It's often been said that the lower status greys don't deal with spontaneity or surprises well, and here we have another example of that. Of course, the memory of the Presence in my head asking me about plans was very familiar, so it's obvious that usually they get in and out without too much of an issue. It's when they make mistakes that we are more likely to 'catch' them.

The Jinn (Aug - Oct 1998)

[I'm having a hard time deciding where to start regarding my memories of odd events and encounters during my 20s. So-- I'll do what's worked before to get me going and just write what inspires me. That means I'll be skipping around. When last we left this saga, I was 24 in 1994. Don't worry, I'll get it all covered! Eventually, I plan to put ALL memories into chronological order on a nice, polished website. That will be my "second draft" before turning it into a book. For now, however..? I'm writing rough draft style and the most important thing to do there is simply... write!]

The Jinn, also known as "the Black Smoke Monster," seemed to emerge somehow after a binding spell gone wrong. I don't know for certain that was it-- it may have been a coincidence OR it could have been a combination of factors. I had a thriving pagan circle where I was teaching some basics in magick, dodging sticky witch groups with nefarious agendas, and experimenting, a lot, with spellcrafting. Book learning is one thing, but hands on is another. Some things were coming together for me, like understanding how much of magick is psychology that taps into the subconscious mind. I had this bright idea one lunar eclipse (August 8th, to be precise) to bind my own fear. I had a dental appointment coming up and I was dreading my entirely predictable and humiliating meltdown.

What could go wrong?

It's hilarious to me that paranormal experts will decry the use of ouija boards when the truth is that most such things simply don't work, are faked, or require a true medium to "tap in" -- and at the right time when some stray spirit (or whatever) happens by. A binding of an emotion...minor, right? I still don't get it. Also-? My idea bombed. I was still a basket case at the dentist, and-- once more, a totally new guy sent me home with a prescription for 2 pills of Valium, which I was required to take before he attempted to work on me again. I scared him and he declared me "the worst case of dental phobia I've seen in over 30 years of practice!" Lesson learned! THAT idea didn't work!

Regardless, 3 days later I had my first sighting of an entirely new phenomenon-- a small black blob of smoke.

I had started hearing whacks and thumps in random places around the house before this and sighed... we'd been having regular bouts of oddities since getting our own apartment next door to my mother's apartment. I was rather used to such things. I noted it and went on with my life. But then I was at the computer and felt a strange little shift to the air. Nothing big- just a feeling of something off. I was browsing the internet or something and stopped to look around the room. I was in our little office upstairs and all the lights were on.

To my shock, a smallish black thing was sort of float-scooting across the floor! It moved at a good pace and went right by where I was sitting so I had several seconds to just stare at it. What I saw completely confused me...

It was featureless and black, moving like liquid, but it appeared to be made out of opaque black SMOKE. The smoke substance sort of roiled slowly back into itself rather than disappating like smoke would be expected to do. What's more, it moved intelligently, coming out from under the guest bed and into the room, and then turning around to go back under as if it realized I'd seen it! I jumped down to look under the bed and saw nothing, though. I then raced from the room and told Gerick, but he was skeptical. Until a couple days later he saw it the same way-- at night on the internet and looked down, thinking a cat was by his feet (we had a black cat after all!) and found it wasn't what he was thought.

The thumps and whacks quieted a little bit, but I kept seeing a small black thing every couple of days. Always inside the house with us, and generally in a cat-like shape. As time went on, it got bigger and we got more interference with our lights and electrical systems, but beyond that-- no harm at all. It slunk about as if trying to avoid being seen in general. But then it sometimes tapped where it was, and I could turn and look at the source of the sound and see it! Like it wanted me to know it was there. It did not emulate this behavior with Gerick, as he and I continued to compare notes as the weeks wore on, nor did it try to get the attention of any of our guests.

Usually I was alone when I saw it, but a couple of times a member of my pagan circle would see it around during meetings. I shrugged and said it wasn't doing any harm thus far, so... I was letting it go. Eventually, it was the size of a very BIG cat. I started talking to it when I saw it, but it didn't seem able to understand "yes" and "no" and I got the feeling it was very young or primitive. There was a strong sense of curiosity from it though! It's behavior got more nuanced, but it also acted out more and in bigger ways.

By September, our faucets were turning themselves on-- or, rather, we suspected this smoke thing was doing it. It had never happened before and suddenly it was happening every few days! Meanwhile, the thing was growing. And I kept catching it walking UPRIGHT like a person! It was the size of a 3 or 4 year old in human form by the end of our time together (a little less than 3 months). I felt no threat from it though. NONE. If it was a demon or anything of the sort, I reasoned, I should have felt that dark menacing atmosphere that typically comes with evil spiritual entities. It was utterly neutral though.

It seemed to be learning. Watching us and mimicking us, standing up and walking-- using arms to peer around corners. It was kind of cute, actually. I know that seems insane to a person who has lived an ordinary life, but after dealing with aliens and all sorts of astral nasties, this black smoke thing was just adorable in comparison! Just because it was a black color, I didn't automatically assign it a dark motive. Maybe it ate light? Was that the action of the black smoke movement on its surface? Living things need to eat. Light is a form of energy. So... did it eat energy?

I left food out for it. Milk. Honey. The classic fairy foods and nothing happened. It kept getting into the wiring of the house and making the lights blink. Oh-- and BATTERIES. It drained every battery in our house-- over and over again! That 3 month period of time saw remote controls going dead every few days and even brand new batteries in packages went dead within a few days. We had battery testers and kept checking-- fresh batteries didn't live long with this black smoke thing around. I reasoned it was eating that energy, too. But feeding a semi-astral beastie batteries is damned expensive.

And water-- why water? It didn't go after still water. It seemed to crave moving water... If I'd had more money (we were barely keeping up in batteries) I would have set up a flowing fountain for it to eat. Seems like the cheapest way to go! But never got that far.

The water faucets going on became a daily thing by October. Gerick was beside himself to get rid of it and vexed with me for not being more antagonistic towards it. But I was too amazed. It was walking around now! Would it reach full grown human form? And THEN what? It never had features beyond the black smoke in a roughly cat or human-like shape. Would that change? I was fascinated with my troublesome pet! (I am truly a witch I guess...) Gerick was far less charmed.

Then one day all the faucets in the bathroom went on (tub and sink) and I rushed upstairs. To my amazement, the TOILET started to fill and overflow. I watched in horror as the handle on the back of it by the floor turned and turned! I jumped down and closed it, and it turned against my hand, it was stronger than me! SHIT!! I raced out of the townhouse and to the apartment of the manager who also did handyman duty. He came over and tried to turn it off and watched as it turned itself back on again. The sink and tub also came back on. I was freaking at that point (more about floor damage than about a spirit) and he assured me the water pressure was too high-- that's all! So he turned the main line off outside, then back on. And everything seemed okay... for a couple of hours.

So after I got everything cleaned up, I turned the faucet on downstairs in the kitchen on low and left it on and told the thing in my house I'd leave one on all the time but to STOP getting into the pipes and fucking around!

It stopped fucking with the pipes. In fact, it never turned another faucet on again. It understood basic directives now. It was learning English fast, I thought. I tried asking it yes and no questions using tapping again, but it didn't seem to know what it was. Was it a ghost? No. Was it a spirit? No. Was it a demon? No. It said it was not lost, but it liked me and it wanted to stay. Beyond that I could get little information. After a few taps, it would be "tapped out" and cease to answer. Every session pretty much only got this far and no further. But I was intrigued that it could communicate now, even if only a little.

However, it resumed feeding (I assume) off the electrical wiring. It got into my phone line when I was talking to my friend Robin a few times, causing crazy interference. Then... the final straw came one day in late October.

It got into our computer!!

I could hear it making sounds in our office, and then I heard the computer come on by itself and the modem (remember those screeching things back in the 90s?) went on and I flipped out! I ran up the stairs and told that thing to get the FUCK out of my computer, my wiring, my pipes, and my home! It had pissed me off and I was banishing it! I started flinging astral energy all over the place (hard to explain, but by this time, I'd learned a technique or two...) and mostly around the office.

There was a final screeeech from the modem-- and then it all went quiet. Completely quiet. I never saw the smoke monster again. It ended up being so easy to get rid of I was astonished all over again. There was a connection with ME, and I had to be the one to banish it, apparently.

Why do I call it a Jinn? Well, according to Occult World (dot come):

"A Djinn (genii, ginn, jann, jinn, shayatin, shaytan) is in Arabic lore, a type of interfering spirit, often Demonlike, but not equivalent to a Demon."

But more than that, it seems to be equated with shape-shifting and dark smoke in the mythologies. This black smoke entity definitely fits both categories. It made mischief, behaving like an invisible poltergeist most of the time. Jinn seem to only be seen or experienced in desert environments or during dry and low humid conditions (like Oregon late-August/early autumn.)

Further, in more recent reports of black smoke shape-shifting entities, as in Skinwalker Ranch in Utah-- I'm starting to see similarities between Native American communities of the southwestern U.S. and the dry inter-mountain areas and their experiences with the Middle Eastern mythologies. I don't think it's a coincidence the black smoke entities are typically seen in deserts. Interestingly, both widely divergent cultures say that these things are not quite like a regular demon because they make connections and have relationships with humans and can be like a witch's familiar or a sorcerer's lackey. If one knows how to "use" them, they can be handy-- like poltergeists you can boss around.

I did go on a trip to the Oregon desert with my group earlier in June for Litha. We did several rituals out there and had a great time. Maybe, just maybe, I attracted a little jinn to me during that time. It may have taken it a few weeks to manifest into the physical. There is a possible desert connection there. Maybe deserts are just the natural home of these entities...

My smoke monster was connected to ME somehow, and I had to be the one to make it leave. Gerick tried numerous times and had no power over it. Not with sage or chanting. As it never hurt me or my cats, I purposely didn't drive it away, because I was trying to figure out what the fuck it was and why and how it was with me. I leak energy like a sieve, so I'm pretty certain I "fed" it by merely letting it be around me. But as it grew it seemed to need flowing things to feed it-- like electricity or moving water. I was studying my jinn because I found it's existence absolutely fascinating!

That's the only time I think I've ever encountered a jinn. It didn't scare me, I am left intrigued and confused though. Had I the knowledge THEN that I do NOW, I think I could have done a lot more with the little fella!

Here's A Question: Why No Alien Follow-up After My Foot Fractures?

Whenever I MOVE locations for longer than 2 or 3 weeks, I can always count on the aliens coming around to pick me up and check on me. Basically, if I'm somewhere new long enough for it to NOT be just a vacation, they always check me (and the location) out apparently. Again and again, this has held true, even when I moved to Heron House.

However, nothing has changed-- no indication of an abduction-- after my fantastical fall and multiple foot fractures! This was a few weeks ago, and it's been oddly quiet.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Neglected? Relieved? I really don't know. I mean, I was in terrible pain and shock, sick for days... and they either don't KNOW (which means tracking doesn't cover this?) or don't CARE.

They may not be following my personal health as closely as they used to-- I recall some checks for broken ankles when I was a teen, but maybe that was by accident during other things.

It's also possible they picked me up when I was drugged and sleeping that first week I suppose...

I can only wonder, as I do at everything regarding this phenomenon and my day-to-day life.


Suspicious Neck Scratch & Foot Scar

I woke up 2 hours later than normal from a deep, thick sleep. I haven't been sleeping that "hard" in a while, so it was a little weird, but meh! *shrugs*

However, when I got up for my morning routine, I was surprised by the tiny, small point of deep tissue pain I felt when I put my weight on my left foot. It felt like I had the kind of bruise you'd get if you stepped hard on a lego on a hard surface! OUCH! I had not done so the day before or that night, so what gave?

When I looked at my foot, though, there was no bruise. It was so strange to have such a clear point of pain with no source, though, that I felt around with my finger and could feel a small nodule under the skin.


Imagine my surprise when I gave a closer look and could see a very tiny scar in the exact spot where I felt the small something under my skin!

Here it is-- hard to see against the grain of my skin, but the scar is brighter than the regular lines. It is exactly where that deep pain in my foot is! I have not injured my foot recently at all, so this is very strange! Pardon the dirty foot, as I run around in bare feet at home and had not yet had my shower. The scar is circled in green.

To top it off, I discovered a scratch on the back of my neck-- pretty deep! -- where none had been the night before. Just a single scratch-- nothing too deep-- but deeper than when my cat whacks me at night, which is rare but has happened. Also, she doesn't sleep by my head. And-- I have a LOT of hair to get through to my neck while sleeping.

Here's what that looks like!

My first guess, looking at the angle and the little curve, would be that it's self-inflicted. And I can't say for sure that it's not! But my fingernails are very short, and very weak. They rip and tear like paper, they never chip. Scratching myself leads to much milder wounds!

Taken singly, each odd thing is very mild and not too concerning. Taken together (oddly deep sleep, foot pain & scar, neck scratch) and it MAY indicate that something happened to me last night of a less prosaic nature.

Unfortunately, I have zero memory of anything being amiss at all. I didn't see any clues I could have left for myself (unless the neck scratch was one, but again-- I can't scratch myself that deeply!) All I can do is wonder about it because I have nothing to go by but some observations of some odd things.

Still-- duly noted. Maybe more will happen because this is the beginning of an abduction flap. Or- it could be the once-a-year-one-off. I just don't know.

[LATER: Oddly, by nightfall, the extremely bothersome pain at the spot of the scar was nearly gone. Fast healing!]